| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mein Fuhrer, We have it on good authority that Home Bargains has been hit hard this morning |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | It's the Spytty store in Newport |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | The retail park that took all of the business out of Newport Town Centre |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The queues to get in are questionable and the back up onto the roundabouts is quite frankly absurd |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | It was a busy morning and the staff didn't stand a chance of reducing stock |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | The one next to the old "Mega Bowl?" |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Next to That Shit hole RINGLAND? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir...... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | There's More..... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Its her Sir, We thought she would slow down after 65 |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Our man on the ground has confirmed ...... it's Grandma..... |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | I want everyone who has top secret authority to remain in this room the rest of you out |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | GRANDMA !!??? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | You ASSURED me that she had been taken care of |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | She is notorious for raiding lower budget shops and stripping them of their bargains |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Look at what she did to Marks & Spencers in Cwmbran ! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | They had to SHUT DOWN !!!! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | You all know that she cannot resist a bargain |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | She scours the shops stripping them of reduced stock |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | stockpiling it "Just in Case" !!! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, we had no idea she was still operating after the fall of Cwmban |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | She doesn't SLEEP!! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We thought she was occupied by her new downstairs bathroom |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | She's been threatening to have that done for YEARS ! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | No one thought it would ever happen |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Now its nearly complete she is hunting out bathroom accessories |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Stripping shops of their reduced stock to satisfy her bargain addiction !! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | with no care for the general public |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Wrapping Paper....Cards....Keyrings... |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Anything reduced she WILL buy |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Filling the spare room |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | God knows what the attic looks like |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Has anyone checked on Lyndon? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Is he alive? That poor man |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | No wonder he went grey so young |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | You will contain her, |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | SHE WILL NOT STOP UNTIL SHE COMPLETLY DECORATES THAT SHOWER ROOM |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | New Towels...New Bath Mats... Where will it end ? !!! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Marks & Spencer must be proteced |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Get all your men down to Spytty |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | She cannot be allowed to buy anymore Shit |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | She really wanted new towels too |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Send word to Lyndon |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Offer comfort at this difficult time |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Assure him |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | We will contain this incident |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Lure her in with reduced toilet rolls |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | She cannot resist |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Godspeed |
