| 00:00 - 00:03 | He passed captaincy ground school in June... |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Virgin is long-haul only... |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | So no Berlin flights, thank god |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | But that won't stop him commanding aircraft all over the world |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | ...and who knows, even Berlin too, one day |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | He'll surely flunk |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | The final competency check |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Latest... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Latest intel is he passed the final check flight |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | He's now a fully fledged Captain |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | I want everyone who knows Jon personally to stay. Everyone else - fuck off |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Since when was Virgin a joke airline?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | ...giving Captaincy to any class clown |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Seriously, the guy can't skipper a Golf down a B-road |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Has anyone actually tried to keep track... |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | ...of all the write offs? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Richard Branson must think good looks... |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | ...and a Colgate smile are substitutes for competency |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | And don't get me started on the CrossFit thing |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, how dare you insult CrossFit |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Why not play a real sport, instead of trying to be the best at exercise |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, CrossFit offers results and a community |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | We all know you drank the Coolaid a long time ago |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Is your exercise cult... |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Going to help in zero visibility? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Is it going to help with double hydraulic failure? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Do glamour muscles help fly aircraft, enlighten me. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | If the guy had spent half the time learning emergency procedures... |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | ...as he did trying to bench 100kg, do a muscle up, or whatever... |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | There's a world in which I'd let him command... |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | ....a mobility scooter maybe. No, too technical - a shopping cart! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | You know he had a mobility scooter once. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Want to know why he needed it? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | He put his hand to trying luge |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Literally the only sport... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | You do lying down. You literally lie down, and slide - that's it! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | A skill most toddlers perfect by their 3rd birthday. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Any guessed what happened to Jon? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | He almost lost a leg, nearly ripped the thing clean off |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And they're putting safety in his hands? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't cry, your Virgin ticket is refundable. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | To think...he wanted to shoe horses |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Or was it fishing? It was quite hard to keep track for a while |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Professional schizophrenia |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | He chose pilot |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | If you think Im stepping on another aircraft you are very much mistaken |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Maybe if I'm totally desperate... |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I'll consider Lufthansa |
