Coach's Rant

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1,269 views10/29/2015
Friday night lights

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00:00 - 00:03Coach your gunner was not blocked in the back
00:05 - 00:07The block was from the side
00:07 - 00:11Your man did not give the receiver an oportunity to catch the ball and so we flagged him for kick catching interference
00:11 - 00:13When he saw the flag he told me I sucked
00:13 - 00:16So he was flagged 15 yards for unsportsmanlike behavior
00:16 - 00:19So he told you "you sucked"?
00:19 - 00:21You're sure he said "sucked"
00:23 - 00:27Coach, he also said....
00:27 - 00:31my umpire....
00:31 - 00:33He said I had little man parts
00:33 - 00:36and my whole crew wore ladies underwear.
00:52 - 00:59Every week, every game, all the same. I want an officials conference.
01:12 - 01:19You guys screw me every time! Every week it's always the same!
01:19 - 01:25I don't teach my players that, they do what I tell them
01:26 - 01:30They are good kids, they never do wrong when I'm around.
01:30 - 01:34But you come here on Friday nights and you tell me they do this?
01:34 - 01:37They get held every play!
01:37 - 01:40And you worry their towels don't match?
01:40 - 01:42It's our job to enforce the rules
01:42 - 01:46Damn the rules, call a hold one time
01:46 - 01:47Coach, holding is a rule
01:47 - 01:52It's a rule? Really! I didn't think you knew what a rule was!
01:52 - 01:57We get blocked in the back and you don't call it.
01:57 - 02:00They grab our facemasks and you don't see it.
02:00 - 02:04 They break the huddle with 12 and you say "It's high school rules coach"
02:04 - 02:07You wouldn't know a rule if it hit you over the head!
02:07 - 02:10I know the rules, I read the rule book twenty years ago!
02:10 - 02:12I've coached for over thirty years.
02:13 - 02:16My wife says I'm a great coach.
02:16 - 02:21And she knows the rules. She should be doing your jobs.
02:26 - 02:29I'm just trying to win ballgames
02:30 - 02:34 I could be home drinking beers
02:34 - 02:39But I'm here, teaching my kids to respect authority
02:40 - 02:47And you tell me one of them made fun of your "man parts"?
02:49 - 02:53That's impossible, I don't teach that.
02:53 - 02:55You must have misunderstood
02:56 - 02:59He probably said "you have little tan cars"
02:59 - 03:02and "your crew are ladies men"
03:04 - 03:07I didn't say that umpire was any ladies man.
03:14 - 03:17What the hell, I wear ladies underwear
03:18 - 03:23They are so much softer, there's no chafing
03:25 - 03:26Am I pretty?
03:31 - 03:34I just feel so ugly
03:41 - 03:46But seriously, have you looked at your crew?
03:46 - 03:49You're so ugly you make onions cry
03:54 - 03:57Go ahead and penalize me...