| 00:00 - 00:03 | Good news. Looks like the coaching staff is complete. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Our final defensive coach has been hired. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | He was to have landed here at ABIA. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | However, derpydog and crew are watching like hawks. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | So now we must redirect here to Austin Executive. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Tosh Lupoi accepted, very good. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I knew he would take it. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Surly posters, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Its not who you thought... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Fuck it, Ill tell them...Lupoi declined. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | We got Mike Stoops instead. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Leave if you suggested Hutzler, Marve, Sirmon, or Gregory. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck were you thinking? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Mike Stoops? The brother of bag-o-dicks! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Hell snort all of the coke in Texas and be a spy for that belly-tatted fuck Riley! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | You thought you could slip that by... |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | the BMDs and Surly? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Fuck off CDC and Sark you pricks! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Instead, you fucked around and found out. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Drunk David Ash would have been a better choice! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Stoops has been rehabbed under Saban. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fuck that! His defenses fucking suck and he has a very punchable face! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | It could work. Give it a chance. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Now this shit will end up on the god damned podcast! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | RGB3 and immamac? |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Theyre going to go scorched earth! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | F bombs left and right! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | How fucking humiliating is that? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Saban is laughing at us now! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Along with all the trailer trash and methheads in that shit-hole of a state Oklahoma! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | You better tell me this is a joke! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Or some fucking troll job by an Alabama insider! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Every goddamn time this happens. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Cant we have nice things? All we asked was no Stoops. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Most of Surly is on suicide watch now. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Well fly a banner over DKR! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Probably also fill his office with a variety of dildos to humiliate him! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | We cant take this shit after what weve been through the past 11 years! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Sark, you pick your boogers and eat them! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | And CDC, youre just lucky be here asshole. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Well send your ass back to Cowtown! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Dont worry dear. CTJ will still break 4.5 in the 40. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Maybe were just overreacting. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Im sure well wake up tomorrow and everything will be fine. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Stoops will never wear burnt orange. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Anyone but him at this point. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Kawasaki has this all under control. Fuck it. Maybe we dont need another coach. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Now get the fuck out. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | We have a brisket to cook. |
