00:00 - 00:03Good news. Looks like the coaching staff is complete.
00:04 - 00:05Our final defensive coach has been hired.
00:05 - 00:07He was to have landed here at ABIA.
00:08 - 00:12However, derpydog and crew are watching like hawks.
00:12 - 00:15So now we must redirect here to Austin Executive.
00:17 - 00:19Tosh Lupoi accepted, very good.
00:19 - 00:21I knew he would take it.
00:24 - 00:26Surly posters,
00:27 - 00:28It’s not who you thought...
00:31 - 00:33Fuck it, I’ll tell them...Lupoi declined.
00:34 - 00:36We got Mike Stoops instead.
00:53 - 00:58Leave if you suggested Hutzler, Marve, Sirmon, or Gregory.
01:13 - 01:15What the fuck were you thinking?
01:15 - 01:17Mike Stoops? The brother of bag-o-dicks!
01:18 - 01:23He’ll snort all of the coke in Texas and be a spy for that belly-tatted fuck Riley!
01:25 - 01:28You thought you could slip that by...
01:29 - 01:31the BMDs and Surly?
01:31 - 01:34Fuck off CDC and Sark you pricks!
01:34 - 01:37Instead, you fucked around and found out.
01:37 - 01:40Drunk David Ash would have been a better choice!
01:40 - 01:42But Stoops has been rehabbed under Saban.
01:42 - 01:46Fuck that! His defenses fucking suck and he has a very punchable face!
01:46 - 01:48It could work. Give it a chance.
01:48 - 01:52Now this shit will end up on the god damned podcast!
01:53 - 01:54RGB3 and immamac?
01:56 - 01:57They’re going to go scorched earth!
01:57 - 02:00F bombs left and right!
02:00 - 02:03How fucking humiliating is that?
02:04 - 02:08Saban is laughing at us now!
02:08 - 02:13Along with all the trailer trash and methheads in that shit-hole of a state Oklahoma!
02:14 - 02:16You better tell me this is a joke!
02:17 - 02:21Or some fucking troll job by an Alabama insider!
02:27 - 02:29Every goddamn time this happens.
02:30 - 02:34Can’t we have nice things? All we asked was no Stoops.
02:34 - 02:36Most of Surly is on suicide watch now.
02:41 - 02:42We’ll fly a banner over DKR!
02:43 - 02:47Probably also fill his office with a variety of dildos to humiliate him!
02:48 - 02:53We can’t take this shit after what we’ve been through the past 11 years!
02:54 - 02:56Sark, you pick your boogers and eat them!
02:56 - 02:59And CDC, you’re just lucky be here asshole.
03:00 - 03:02We’ll send your ass back to Cowtown!
03:04 - 03:07Don’t worry dear. CTJ will still break 4.5 in the 40.
03:14 - 03:16Maybe we’re just overreacting.
03:19 - 03:23I’m sure we’ll wake up tomorrow and everything will be fine.
03:25 - 03:26Stoops will never wear burnt orange.
03:31 - 03:33Anyone but him at this point.
03:40 - 03:46Kawasaki has this all under control. Fuck it. Maybe we don’t need another coach.
03:46 - 03:49Now get the fuck out.
03:53 - 03:56We have a brisket to cook.