The Madness of Rob Titchener
938 views11/19/2015
He's so insane, even his own evil mind minions rebel
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | Your plans for domination of Ambridge are almost complete |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We have blocked the road to Penny Hassett |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and sealed off the parish boundary |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | No one will be able to leave without your orders |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | An electric fence is on order and will be installed this week |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Is it, you know, the same as Berrow Farm's? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | No cow could beat that zapper |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Herr Titchener... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The electric fence... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | The electric fence is not the same |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The Fairbrothers got the last good roll from Felpersham Fences |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | It's too crowded in here. Jazzer, Neil, Brian, you stay. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I wanted that bloody fence so no one could get out! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I know you're all a figment of my imagination |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | but it really takes the biscuit when |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | even you won't bloody well do what I say! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | You useless morons |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | This is my autocratic fantasy |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | You're so incompetent you can't even get me an imaginary fence! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | We do our best but even we think you're insane |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | What do you mean, I'm too insane? Insane?! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We've known for some time you're completely barking |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Oh for God's sake, you're supposed to be as evil as me |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It takes commitment! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I came to Ambridge with the express intention |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | of making sure everyone did what I wanted |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I sent Stefan back to Poland over the culvert |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I cooked the books at Berrow and lied about boffing my ex-wife |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I shut that woofter Charlie up |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I even married into the Archer family, for chrissakes! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Do you honestly think anyone would take on someone like Helen Archer? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | The woman's even crazier than me |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | The only thing keeping me going |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | is turning her into a Stepford wife |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And if I have to listen to Tom talking about his sausages |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | one more bloody time I will go spare |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Do you have any idea just how disgusting it was |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | to crawl into that silage clamp with a dead dog's leg? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Yes people, I really am that vile |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And you lot can't even get me some bloody fake tripwire |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Helen, he doesn't mean it - just cook him some dinner |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I went to a shrink once |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | He said I was the weirdest person he'd ever met |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | and he was right |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | This is the end |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Without that fence we can't keep anyone in |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | This'll be all over the Borsetshire Echo |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Bloody Archers |