| 00:00 - 00:05 | the bosses are all like "quick quick sell these things" |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | everyones all like "whats this bootleg lookin shit" |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | "lookin like a dollar store cheapass plastic toy with too much lead in it or some shit" |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | support's like "i dont know wtf dhcp leasing is, how are we supposed to support this thing" |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | so we just pawned it all off on Roland. what a sucker! |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | fuck him right? |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | so now |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | our boy's fuckin up peoples internet all over the country |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | even in jamaica now too |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | del keeps selling these shitboxes talkin about "the bad guys" |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | buncha old ass doctors and lawyers and shit |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | dont even know how to program a vcr taking down their entire networks |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | patients waiting |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | dying in the waiting room |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | cuz the network is down |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | ramirez all tangled up in cat5 in the closet |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | dude gets hit with a malpractice suit |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | just because he didnt want malware |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | "my digital shield ruined my life" |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | now he's in prison treating infected tattoos on skinheads |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | theres also this cracka charles hanor |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | dude is a total dick so we didnt even feel bad fucking his internet up |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | "my internet is too slow, waa waa waa" |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | "im rich and my daughter hates me" |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | "white mans burden", all that shit |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | we were like "roland why dont you just go to his house and set it up for him" |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | you shoulda seen the look on rolands face |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | i think his soul died that day |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | like it literally exited his body and now hes merely an animated corpse |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | he was fucked |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | i saw him cry |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | he looked like such a little bitch |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | charles wouldn't stop bitching |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | so the bosses gave him a ton of free shit, it was absurd |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | we really cupped his balls, i dont think he paid us a cent the entire time |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | he sounds like a bitch |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | yeah he was a total piece of shit |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | one of those people that makes you hate whites |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | makes you wanna go to central market and slap somebody |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | but in all seriousness im dying on the inside |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | i heard roland is on suicide watch |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | yeah he keeps trying to kill himself |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | hes cutting himself like a goth teenager |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | its actually really sad |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | but these shitboxes man |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | we keep selling em too |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | as long as we can keep getting snacks in the office i'm ok with it i guess, fuck em |
