Hitler debriefs the Madring GP
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9/17/2026President of the FIA holds a principals and drivers briefing after the inaugural Madrid GP
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | The overtake down the back straight into Turn 12 was going send the crowd into a frenzy. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Once the drivers hit the banked curve at La Monumental, the slipstream train will collapses |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and we will have real, thrilling racing! They said |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | President Mohammed... Turn 12... |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | There is no slipstream. The dirty air is so bad you can’t get within two seconds of the car ahead. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | The whole sector is a single-file parade. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | As Gunther would say - it’s made us all look like a bunch of wankers ! |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | no-one can overtake |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | It’s Monaco without the tits |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Even Lance Stroll is competitive around here. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And he gave his seat to his grandmother |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Drivers fuck off. I want Toto, Zak, Fred and Laurent |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That was the mandate |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | The Madrid circuit was supposed to prove street tracks are superior ! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Four overtakes - we had four. Most of those were Fred’s boys tripping over each other |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | As for McLaren |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | ok dear Zak will still give Lando his win bonus |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Zak how did you fuck that up ! Lando was nailed on - everyone’s favourite son ! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | A bunch of monkeys on the pit wall could have brought that car home |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | But no, you missed the VSC and buggered up the pit stop |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mohamed we couldn’t have foreseen the VSC would only last |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Bullshit Zak ! Your systems can forecast when your driver farts |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Yes, ok but your VSC is impossible even for us |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | For years, all I hear about are Papaya rules |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Now that brat Kimi is so far ahead Toto |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Even Lewis has thrown in the towel. Russel never had any balls |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Who’s going to challenge him |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Laurent you give Max a car that tries to kill him |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Kimi - time for your nap baby |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | What happened to real racing drivers ! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I can’t believe you had Carlos Sainz help develop the circuit |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Eddie Jordan knew it was going to be crap and he’s dead |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | We had a Spanish GP - everyone liked it |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Bring F1 to the heart of Spain they said |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | F1 - I’d rather watch Clarkson drive his tractor |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Don’t think this gets your emergency aero changes approved |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Bernie was right we should have sprinkler systems or exploding fucking tyres |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Anything to breathe some life into this shit show |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Your drivers are just overpaid system administrators. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Give Max a go-kart for the next race I’ll put my money on him |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Anyone who mentions strategy in the media pen gets a 20 place grid drop |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | He doesn’t mean it - Cadillac and Aston Martin will still be at the back |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | At least it’s over. 57 laps of sheer tedium. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | An hour and 35 minutes we won’t get back |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It makes me question whether we even need Monaco |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | We’ll do another street race in the US instead |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Where no-one has heard of any of you. Good luck getting any supermodels to your parties there |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Still we have to go spin this Madrid debacle to the media |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Netflix will have my nuts for this |