Diverted to Prestwick
19 views10/4/2023
Hitler reacts to losing a plane in Scotland. Is furious when he hears it is Glasgow
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | One of our bombers is missing |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We believe its in this area in Scotland |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Although no one really has a fucking clue. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The captain Steiner radioed the code word PANKO |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And are currently trying to get a taxi to Dalry |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Prestwick is nowhere near Glasgow |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | It's fucking miles away |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steiner |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Steiner says Prestwick offers better flight deals than Glasgow. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | This has been verified by Ryanair |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Rohm, Keitel, Yodel, Krebs, Buckdorf stay here. The rest of you fuck off |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That's absolute bollocks |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | It's a liberty calling Prestwick Glasgow |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | For a start there are no trains or buses after 10pm |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And taxis refuse to go that far |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I shagged a bloke from Glasgow once |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Nothing but winos, buckfast and fannys |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | They're not even human half of them |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I tried to get into the Cat House. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | You cant blame the bouncers for the dress code |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I was wearing my best Nazi outfit. Recently pressed |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But jackboots are expressly forbidden. Its written on the entry sign |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | And then I got fucking carded |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Said I was off my tits |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | How does that make me different from every other knob in the queue? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | I bought some dodgy gear off a guy in Ashton Lane |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | What a waste of £50 on garbage |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I should've paid the extra and got decent stuff |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And don't get me strarted on the lack of city toilets |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I was desperate for a dump |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I had to go up a lane, and my wallet was stolen |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Some dickhead from Drumchapel |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I actually like Drumchapel. It has character |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | But they have their fair share of robbers |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And Police Scotland? A waste of fucking space |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | A 5'2" WPC called Anne. Looking like a 12 year old... |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | ...had the audacity to question ME! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I'd like to see her in a fight |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Trying to arrest someone off their tits on Charlie |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Probably supplied by that knob up the West End |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | He had a massive cock. He was surprisingly adventurous |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Tell the crew to head for East Kilbride |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | There's an ice rink, 2 nightclubs and a hotel with balconies |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | But the shopping centre is in terminal decline |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The council have fucked it up for years |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | You have to practically go to Hamilton to find a decent Maccas |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I suppose they could try the KFC |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I did, but got the shits. It's awful |