Hitler is told he's unlikely to retake Clacton

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7/30/2026
Mein Führer screams at his team in Millbank House after the latest polling numbers for Clacton were revealed to him.

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00:00 - 00:03Count Binface is closing in on Clacton
00:04 - 00:05Litter is disappearing
00:05 - 00:07Sweepers seen the A133
00:08 - 00:12Tatty flags are disappearing from lamposts
00:12 - 00:15He's been looking at houses in Frinton
00:17 - 00:19I have one there
00:19 - 00:21He'll never afford the prices
00:24 - 00:26He's building his own
00:27 - 00:28He has plans...
00:31 - 00:33for a newbuild in mock Tudor style
00:34 - 00:36grassed lawns
00:53 - 00:58Impossible, I control the turf
01:13 - 01:15Nothing goes green in Clacton
01:15 - 01:17Next he'll be wearing yellow trousers
01:18 - 01:23the women love them
01:25 - 01:28they would't lie
01:29 - 01:31He's not seen the shirt
01:31 - 01:34Zia's just sent me the t-shirt image
01:34 - 01:37A t-shirt. Why not a double-breasted blazer?
01:37 - 01:40I hate black t-shirts, Burnham wears them
01:40 - 01:42Burnham insists his are dark blue
01:42 - 01:46...and black jeans. What's wrong with baby blue?
01:46 - 01:48Larry Grayson wore those
01:48 - 01:52The ladies of Clacton love the nouveau rich look
01:53 - 01:54Their men love to see
01:56 - 01:57a well laundered man
01:57 - 02:00As for Binface, a fucking cape
02:00 - 02:03who does he think he is, Adam Adamant?
02:04 - 02:08I've just handed him the lastest polling data
02:08 - 02:13Two years ago I won with a massive majority
02:14 - 02:16Now I'm behind a guy wearing a bin
02:17 - 02:21You idiots told me this was a good idea, you agreed with me
02:27 - 02:29It's not my fault, it never is
02:30 - 02:34If it wasn't for me, you'd still be Tory failures
02:34 - 02:36Thanks to me, Brexit got done
02:41 - 02:42I've never been richer
02:43 - 02:47I could have spent the money on Ferraris
02:48 - 02:53but I chose to keep it quiet
02:54 - 02:56Someone's grassed me up
02:56 - 02:59This was going to be my last big job
03:00 - 03:02The job's been ruined by a fool
03:04 - 03:07Don't worry Laure, you'll keep the house
03:14 - 03:16Now Tice has the cops involved
03:19 - 03:23Jenrick, lot of use he's been
03:25 - 03:26He said, trust me
03:31 - 03:33Nobody warned me
03:40 - 03:46If it wasn't for the Cottrells
03:46 - 03:49you'd have been finished in 2024
03:53 - 03:56What the fuck do I tell Chakrit?