Hitler Reacts to Graham Platner Campaign

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7/1/2026
Not happy to be losing to Susan Collins, Hitler takes out his anger on Graham Platner.

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00:00 - 00:03So us Democrats have a tough Senate map
00:04 - 00:05We have to win in a bunch of red States
00:05 - 00:07Including Iowa, Texas and Alaska
00:08 - 00:12We must also win North Carolina
00:12 - 00:15And then there's Maine.
00:17 - 00:19Maine is a Blue State
00:19 - 00:21We will win it easily
00:24 - 00:26Mein Fuhrer
00:27 - 00:28Our candidate...
00:31 - 00:33We nominated Graham Platner
00:34 - 00:36He's losing to Susan Collins.
00:53 - 00:58Everyone leave the room except Schumer and other establishment shills
01:13 - 01:15How the hell did we nominate this idiot?
01:15 - 01:17He has one of my tatoos!
01:18 - 01:23He's sexting dick picks a year into his marriage!
01:25 - 01:28There's a bad story coming out about him every week.
01:29 - 01:31But "he's against the establishment" they said
01:31 - 01:34Who cares? He has a tatoo loved by the SS!!
01:34 - 01:37We could have just nominated a f*cking nobody State Rep
01:37 - 01:40But we just HAD to put forward this clown
01:40 - 01:42He is engaging our base...
01:42 - 01:46Who gives a shit about our base?
01:46 - 01:48We lost to Susan Collins with an establishment shill last time
01:48 - 01:52It's a D+6 environment. Any boring pol could beat Collins this year!
01:53 - 01:54But we had to "shake things up."
01:56 - 01:57And now we're stuck with a downwardly mobile fuckup
01:57 - 02:00Who doesn't even own a real oyster farm.
02:00 - 02:03His mom is his only customer!
02:04 - 02:08He's posing as a man of the people, but his father bought him a house!
02:08 - 02:13His entire lifestory is a lie.
02:14 - 02:16We're pissing away our best pickup opportunity!
02:17 - 02:21One of the wost strategic mistakes since I tried to beat Stalin.
02:27 - 02:29It's over. We'll never beat Collins.
02:30 - 02:34She'll be "concerned" while voting for all of Donald Trump's nominees.
02:34 - 02:36All because some rich white socialists thought
02:41 - 02:42they found their new play thing.
02:43 - 02:47We should have gone with the geriatric
02:48 - 02:53boring ass Governor, Janet Mills!
02:54 - 02:56Now, we can only win the Senate
02:56 - 02:59if we win in some R+10 red State.
03:00 - 03:02Relying on a guy to win Texas who said "God is non-binary."
03:04 - 03:07He gets upset when we become the 2010s tea party
03:14 - 03:16All because he's critical of Israel
03:19 - 03:23And can dress up like a blue collar worker
03:25 - 03:26Idiot primary voters.
03:31 - 03:33"He's a good public speaker"
03:40 - 03:46Susan Collins sounds like she's in the middle of a labotomy
03:46 - 03:49And she's leading him by 3 in the polls.
03:53 - 03:56She'll be in the Senate until 2033.