Enterprise Architecture - Risitas
19 views5/11/2026
Ivory tower architecture parody, featuring Risitas. Just for fun :)
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| 00:00 - 00:05 | So my company decided to hire a bunch of Enterprise Architects. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | And told me I had to come greet them. |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | They said "They are here to create value." |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | I said "Great. Show me the value!" |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | They then opened a PowerPoint with Ninety-two slides |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | Ninety-two |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | Ninety-two |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | Not a single delivery team had seen it before. |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | Ninety-two |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | But apparently it was the “enterprise target state.” |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | The target state was just boxes. |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | Boxes pointing to other boxes. And every box said “platform.” |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | And then.. |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | And then.. I asked... |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | Who owns these platforms? |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | And nobody knew. |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | Ninety-two |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | I asked the architecture team |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | What a platform was, and they all disagreed! |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | I swear to god, one even started blabbering on about us having to be "cloud-first". |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | WTF does that mean? |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | The delivery teams asked for a decision. |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | So they created an Architecture Review Board |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | To review why nothing was getting approved. |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | And for reducing complexity... |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | They added three governance checkpoints. |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | "Compliance" heh.. |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | They had a Capability map |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | ..which mapped where budget goes to disappear. |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | Ninety-two |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | And everybody.. |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | ..and everybody just nodded! |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | A few months later.. |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | ..leadership asked why delivery was still slow. |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | Architecture said the teams lacked maturity. The teams said architecture lacked reality. |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | Zero value? |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | Zero value, yes! |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | The engineers asked "can't we just start?" |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | but "Nope, we need an as-is architecture" |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | But I'm not worried, though. Because they scheduled a workshop. |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | A workshop for what? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | Well, the agenda says they want to define what "architecture" means.. |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | ..and if all goes well, one of them might get so pissed off so he quits |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | One less headache to worry about. |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | Hey man, it's my money, why you laughing? |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | Maybe some of them are watching this? |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | Well at least we can rest assured, the business will move nowhere while i'm away. |