| 00:00 - 00:03 | President Trump, the iranians have |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | attacked our bases |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | in Dubai, Bahrain, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Saud Arabia, Qatar, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | And also Dubai |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Have the Iranians |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | elected a new leader? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | President Trump... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | The Iranians |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They elected another Ayatollah |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The son of the other guy |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone leave. Except Vance, Jared, Hegseth and Rubio. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | We were supposed to change |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | the regime! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | And they elected another Ayatollah?! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And they still have nukes! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And the straits of Hormuz |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | The flipping straits are |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | still closed! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I offered to pay for the insurance |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | President Trump, they say it is too dangerous |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Cowards! Where is my oil?! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | President Trump, they will be attacked. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Lazy cowards! I should pilot |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | the ships myself |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I would be a great pilot. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | The best pilot. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Better than these cowards. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Why didn't the iranians rise up |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | against their leaders? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Sure last time they got killed |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | But I said I would protect them! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Don't they trust me?! |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | And what about that girls school? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Why are they blaming us? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | We probably sold the Tomohawk |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | to the Iranians. It's their fault! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And why are oil prices still going up? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | I said the war would be over soon. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Crude is over $80 a barrel, |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | and gas is over $3 at the pump! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry gas prices will be lower in the long run. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I won the FIFA peace prize |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I should have had the Nobel priz |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I stopped eight wars |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Maybe nine. Maybe more. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Go and tell them we have won. Iran have surrended. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Those MAGA idiots will believe |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | believe anything. |
