| 00:00 - 00:03 | Captain, Captain, today you fly to Dubai and back |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | You might be parked T1 or T3 |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | There is no CPDLC or ACARS |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | There are no intersections in OPT |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | You have 189 passengers booked |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | That’s okay |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I can deal with that |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Captain, captain |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | You.. you |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Also have 252 bags and 6000 kg cargo |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | And you are number 118 for departure |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone leave the cockpit except Henning, Fabian and the Dispatcher |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | CAPTAIN, CAPTAIN DO THIS, DO THAT |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET ANYTHING DONE |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | THERE IS NO PUSHBACK, THERE IS NO HEADSET, WE NEED AN ENGINEER |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | NO ONE TAKES ANY RESPONSIBILITY |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | IM SORRY CAPTAIN, IM SORRY CAPTAIN |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | GET THE PUSHBACK HERE NOW, GET THE HEADSET GUY NOW |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | OR DO I HAVE TO GO OUT AND PUSH THE AIRCRAFT MYSELF |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSES |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Captain, Captain the headset is not approved for FLY4 aircraft |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I DON’T CARE, JUST PUSH US NOOOOOW |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Captain, Captain please standby |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | IF I DONT GET PUSHED BACK NOW I WILL REPORT YOU |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Delayed due to ramp handling |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Delayed due to ATC computer failure |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Everyday there is a new issue |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Delayed due to insufficient block times |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Sign here, Captain, Captain, you need to sign here |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | You can just use captains discretion, what is the problem? Captain, Captain. |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I think I’m getting a stomach ulcer |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | HOW HARD IS IT TO FUEL TO 9700 KG, YOU NEED WRITTEN INSTRUCTIONS |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Request a new TOBT |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Give me a coffee, I don’t care if I get Delhibelly |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And disconnect the airbridge |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | I have had enough |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I will divert the flight to Lahore |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | How is this operation going to work |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | IT IS THE FIRST WEEK |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | AND WE HAVE 6 MORE MONTHS OF THIS |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | 6 MONTHS OF CAPTAIN, CAPTAIN STANDBY |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It’s okay, an overnight in Lahore could be fun |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | At least I’m off tomorrow. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | And the day after I have the nice four sector day |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | And soon I have annual leave |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Only 3 days but still |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | First the U.K. and then India, what could be next? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Uzbekistan? Kyrgiztan? |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Request push and start again |
