| 00:00 - 00:04 | The PAC 12 falls apart, and Utah bangs on the Big 12's door. |
| 00:04 - 00:07 | "Let us in! We lost two Rose Bowls! We're a big deal!" |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | "We're gonna run this truck stop conference." |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | "We're gonna dominate your sorry butts. Pre-season #1!" |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | First year in the Big 12: 5-7. |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | 5-7!! |
| 00:30 - 00:31 | 5-7!! |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | They didn't even win a conference home game! |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | 5-7!! |
| 00:41 - 00:45 | We beat them at Rice-Eccles 22-21. |
| 00:45 - 00:48 | Kalani is trying to give Whit a hug |
| 00:48 - 00:51 | But he's too busy throwing chairs across the room |
| 00:51 - 00:58 | Mark Harlan runs out on to the field in a pink beanie |
| 00:58 - 01:01 | They flag him for unsportsmanlike conduct! |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | They fine him $40,000!!! |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | "I'm gonna talk to the commissioner!" |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | "This game was stolen from us!" |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | Pre-season #1 and they didn't even make a bowl game! |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | Scalley is screaming, "When are you gonna finally retire?" |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | Their entire QB room transferred out! |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | Isaac Wilson, pack your bags. |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | Ok, 2025. New season. New QBs. |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | Utes get Dampier. We lose Retzlaff. |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | Utah is ready to be pre-season #1 again. |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | They beat 0-4 UCLA and ... |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | they are so proud. |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | "We have an offense!" |
| 01:58 - 02:03 | Dampier's gonna win the Heisman now. They can't wait for the Holy War. |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | Dampier was on his back so much ... |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | Dampier was on his back so much... |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | ... he could've taken a nap. |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | They couldn't convert a fourth down! |
| 02:21 - 02:26 | Utes are throwing cheap beer at their TVs. |
| 02:26 - 02:28 | "Take the points, you idiots!" |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | They tried once, didn't they? |
| 02:30 - 02:33 | On a timeout. He missed! |
| 02:37 - 02:40 | Satuala was murdering people on the sideline! |
| 02:40 - 02:43 | Bear was dragging dead bodies into the endzone! |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | That Big 10 invite is coming any day now. |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | And now they have their own freshman QB? |
| 02:58 - 03:00 | Yeah, a guy named Byrd. |
| 03:01 - 03:05 | Suddenly having a freshman QB is cool again, I guess? |
| 03:06 - 03:09 | I wish him well at Utah. |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | The place where QBs go to die. |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | Bears eat Byrds, by the way |
| 03:24 - 03:26 | I tell them not to be sad, though, eh? |
| 03:31 - 03:35 | I'm sure Josh Pate will still rank them high in his power ratings. |
