Fantasy basketball GM reacts to the draft lottery

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67 views5/13/2025
God hates us all. The behind-the-scenes front office reaction to getting #6 and #9 is not as nice as you might think. (This is a parody for a fantasy basketball league, don't take it seriously)

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Rolf11 months ago
Marvellous piece of satire - you should go into the film business, Kris!!!
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00:00 - 00:03The draft lottery was tonight
00:04 - 00:05You had three chances
00:05 - 00:07to win the number one pick
00:08 - 00:122,137 simulations showed that you had a 30.37% chance to win
00:12 - 00:15and only 16% chance of losing top four
00:17 - 00:19I'm sure we did fine
00:19 - 00:21A top four pick is good
00:24 - 00:26Mein fuhrer
00:27 - 00:28You...
00:31 - 00:33Didn't get any picks in the top four
00:34 - 00:36It was Rocky who got #1
00:53 - 00:58Everyone who wanted me to lose the lottery, get out
01:13 - 01:15ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
01:15 - 01:17THE #11 SPOT WON THE LOTTO!?
01:18 - 01:23NICO HARRISON WON IN REAL LIFE?
01:25 - 01:28That rat-nosed piece of shit
01:29 - 01:31He deserves NOTHING.
01:31 - 01:34I am in a state of DISTRESS.
01:34 - 01:37Nico can eat my ass and taint
01:37 - 01:40Nico destroys his team and gets REWARDED
01:40 - 01:42Mein fuhrer, aren't you happy for Rocky?
01:42 - 01:46Well GOOD FOR HIM. What about ME!?
01:46 - 01:48But you got #6 and #9
01:48 - 01:52I don't give a fuck about 6 and 9
01:53 - 01:54Flagg should be MINE.
01:56 - 01:57This is rigged.
01:57 - 02:00Tanking is fucking stupid.
02:00 - 02:03I can't believe I wasted a whole season.
02:04 - 02:08All those picks, all those sims, for WHAT!?
02:08 - 02:13All of that effort for Kon Knievel or whoever the fuck is at 6
02:14 - 02:16Why do I even bother trying?
02:17 - 02:21That's what I get for fucking around and STALLING.
02:27 - 02:29Wish I blew it up sooner.
02:30 - 02:34Perhaps I could have gotten Castle last year.
02:34 - 02:36And now, I maybe get Bailey.
02:41 - 02:42Such bullshit.
02:43 - 02:47And I am fucking ANGRY because this was OUR TIME.
02:48 - 02:53We did everything right and it got us absolutely nothing.
02:54 - 02:56What else could we have DONE!?
02:56 - 02:59I am going to cover Adam Silver in TAR.
03:00 - 03:02The floor will be soaked in his BLOOD!
03:04 - 03:07Get it together, Tre Johnson is good.
03:14 - 03:16This is pathetic.
03:19 - 03:23I know why our prayers weren't answered.
03:25 - 03:26God hates us all.
03:31 - 03:33Very well. We move on.
03:40 - 03:46I hope Dylan Harper will still be there at #6.
03:46 - 03:49He probably won't be.
03:53 - 03:56Guess it's Kon Knievel.