| 00:00 - 00:03 | ...Portland isn't breaking through with the public |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | No violent protesters or Antifa showed up... |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Drum circles are here, Peace Frogs here |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Our troops are looking like thugs |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Maga agit-prop is failing, even on Fox |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Don't worry the people will respect me.. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | ...when I get the Peace Prize |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Glorious Leader... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ...the Nobel committee... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | ...the Nobel committee gave it to a brown woman... |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | ...for defending democracy in Venezuela. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | All Out! Except Lil' Marco, Drunk, Witless and Creepy Steven... |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That medal was MINE! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | You told me I stopped ELEVENTEEN wars! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Putin and Bibi promised me, if I did as I was told! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Months of pretending to care about Gazans... |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | And those do-gooder Ukranians! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Greedy poor people, all wanting help from us! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | ...USAID, NATO, UN... |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I'm trying to get RICH here! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, the prize is for doing good... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Good? I'm doing my best dictator schtick! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Dear Leader, people still want their rights... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Don't they know I gave up my playboy life? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's all for FAT STAX! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I've whored sneakers, coins... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | ...crappy watches, trading cards, |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | ...I even pimped Leon's shite cars! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I gave up hookers, porn stars and Epstein's girls for this shit? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I haven't got my dick wet in years! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | and Jr. told me to hire that weirdo Vance |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | That couch-fiddler will never be president - NEVER! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Why can't I have a little medal too? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I'm immoral, privileged AND white! |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | How the hell did Obama get it? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And now the Magas... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | ...even THEY keep asking about Epstein! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I should have taken those files to Mar a Lago when I had the chance! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | All my grifting and crimin'?... |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | ...I campaigned on it! FFS! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | "If you're famous they let you!" |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worrry, there's always OnlyFans |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | And now the people don't want me to be King! |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | They told me Project 2025 would make it happen.... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | ...foolproof. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Maga will come for our necks... |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | ...when the economy collapses, they'll want justice |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Of course tariffs are taxes. Suckers. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Who's up for golf? |
