| 00:00 - 00:03 | Farage continues to surge in the polls |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | and will soon |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | take over Downing Street |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Your popularity has gone through the floor and people are saying |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | you're the worst PM this Country has ever had |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | What about my ingenious master plan |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | to smash the gangs? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Prime Minister |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | We, er ... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | We haven't smashed any gangs |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | or stopped a single boat |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Lammy, McSweeny, Mandelson and Khan stay ... everyone else out |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | You blithering idiots! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Your incompetence is off the scale |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | First, you make me wear Ali's free designer suits |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | and those ridiculous glasses |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I look like a clown |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I preferred my old suit from M&S |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Then you advised me to shaft the pensioners and farmers |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | to give away the Chagos Islands |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Prime Minister, that was very popular with the lefties |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | It played into the hands of China and pissed Trump off |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Trump said you were a good guy |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Yeah, then he turned his back on me |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | made me look like a twat |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | all because you told me to |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | wait for him to leave before |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | recognising a Palestinian state |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Now I've got the China spy cover-up to deal with |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | How the hell am I going to lie my way out of that one? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | God, give me strength |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Football fans haven't chanted "wanker" like this since Stalin! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | At least the next budget |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | will give me the opportunity ... a chance |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | to dig myself out |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | and win back some votes |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I can't just rely on the Muslim vote |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | by turning a blind eye on the rape gangs |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But my useless Chancellor |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | calls herself an economist |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | she can barely count to 10! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry Rachel, I'll help you with the sums |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Maybe its time to step down |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Set up a donkey retreat |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | with my ... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | young Ukrainian friends |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | So, in a final act of false patriotism |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I'll do the right thing for the Country |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I resign |
