| 00:00 - 00:03 | The situation is very serious. Cadets |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | brought water bottles into BH265A and BH265B. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and the unthinkable happened in Bartlett 277A, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | where a third water bottle nearly combusted. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Only by sheer luck were cadets, staff, and faculty able to survive |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Who’s saying that water causes fires? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | It doesn’t. Besides, DPOM 02-03 authorizes drinks in classrooms. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | The reason… is that… |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | PANE and CLS agree the presence of water nearby could trigger a massive detonation |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Also they said not to touch their chalk or make chalk jokes |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | and that our board-wiping was substandard |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | If you are a PUSMA, Academy professor, or someone on the Dean’s staff, please step outside |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What a stupid made-up “standard!” |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | When I heard there was a biologist in CLS |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | who doesn't teach evolution because he doesn't believe in it |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | that was absurd but this really takes the cake! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I taught a 4/4, volunteered as an OR and Club OIC, |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | sponsored cadets, and completed the Master Teacher Program |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | so I could field impertinent emails about my classroom chair arrangement |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and now water bottles?! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | The SOSH motto, be kind |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Be kind?! When I keep receiving inane emails about boards and chairs? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Our number one priority is to teach- |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | No, our number one priority is filling out the KVR and a bunch of form 5s! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | That's what makes us sufficiently lethal! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Otherwise everyone will brand us as woke |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | and keep saying social science is a humanity |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | It has the word 'science' in the department name, for God's sake |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Why aren't these hard science scientists more scientific? |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Not having water bottles doesn't prevent fires |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | It just makes you thirsty |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Besides, if fire were the actual issue |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Then someone would have fixed the fire alarms in BH |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I've seen the control panel malfunctioning |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | multiple times, and firefighters not be able to fix it |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Meanwhile the honor board concludes 'not found' |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | even though my student admits on a DA2823 that he cheated |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | and that he knew he wasn't supposed to cheat |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | This is more absurd than time capsule-gate, when we |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | livestreamed opening an empty box? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | with Rob Aud full of cadets? |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Hang in there. You'll go straight into a KD position after this. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | At least we're not in BS&L's boat |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | They got a whole major cancelled. Sociology, a field |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | that explains among other things how perverse incentives |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | in bureaucracies can lead to irrational behavior and suboptimal outcomes |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I suppose Thayer Hall did catch fire recently |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and it's had a leaky roof for years. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Maybe water set Thayer Hall on fire |
