| 00:00 - 00:03 | Welcome back from your babysitting duties, sir |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | While you're here pumping up auction prices |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Just wanted to take the opportunity to provide an update on our WTF season |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We started the season as favourites, with top scoring Palmer and the best forward in the game, Isak |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | But we've had some pretty strong competition from Zep, who has Salah |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Yeah, but Palmer scored 27 goals last year |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | And Mo is off to Saudi, so he's got no chance |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Ehhh Daiby, sir... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Palmer... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Palmer hasn't scored a goal since January |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | 1 assist in the 20 games since, and Mo just signed a new contract |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who shared those "Salah off to Saudi" posts, stay in the room, everyone else get out |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That fucking bastard jinxed me! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | He fucking picked Palmer in his other draft game just to fuck with me |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Palmer was the best pick in the game and now he's fucking useless?! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I even got #back2back printed on all these T-Shirts! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | How could you let this happen?! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And fucking Zep of all people! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | This is the guy who bought Tom fucking Davies at auction! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | And sold Kane, the best striker in the league for Harvey Barnes and a bag of peanuts! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Daiby sir, he made a really good trade to get Salah from Champ |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | That wasn't skill, he's a jammy fucking bastard |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But Daiby sir, he made some pretty decent picks in the draft |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | His team is nowhere near as good as mine. I've got the best fucking keeper in the league |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I've got 3 of best attacking defenders in the game FFS |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | and my DM Rice is playing farther up the pitch than Saka |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | And Isak, who's probably the next best player in the league after Palmer |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | How is this even possible?! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And now we have to sit here and watch him gloat about being the champion |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Do you have any idea how much this hurts me to get beaten by that guy? |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Look at his fucking team for fuck sake |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | If it wasn't for Salah he'd be down next to Zan & Champ |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | He doesn't even know what xG means. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | He probably thinks its a new iPhone model |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I watched 8 hours of pre-season friendlies FFS |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | While he probably auto-drafted from his grandma's Wi-Fi. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And what the fuck happened to everyone else this year?! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | If you told me I got beat by Innsie then I'd understand, his team's got heaps of good players |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Or even Skoda, who's got serious draft credentials |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | If Stoichkov ever gets back from his run, maybe he could focus on challenging next year |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And Balders too, if he ever gets back from his cycling around the world |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK, Cole Palmer is a top top talent |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | No more spreadsheets. No more underlying numbers |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | If Palmer blanks again… I’m reporting him to FIFA for emotional damage |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | At least my Citeh players haven't let me down this year |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Guys we are gonna have to spend big in this auction, so no more price pumping |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I need to get the title back from that Scottish prick, what should we do? Buy Wirtz? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I know, let's sell the best defender in the league for a 15 year old child |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Oh well, at least I'll always have my "Well Done Zep" bit |
