| 00:00 - 00:03 | All survey results have been collected from |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | the leafy inner easterrn |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | suburbs of Kooyong, Hawthorn, Kew, Toorak |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Malvern & Armadale, avoiding all of the great unwashed suburbs |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | outside Stonnington & Boorondara |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | I've already sighted the summary report |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | and it's as bad as the men's changerooms stench |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Robbo |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Crap |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Fortunately, I came prepared with brown undies |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | I still don't think they'll do me any good |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | If you're guilty of cooking up this bloody survey idea then remain - everyone else, out! |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Complaints about bloody Busby & his asylum seekers that he coaches |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | No bar but still $18 pints of Balter with no service |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Wearing of collars. White clothing. Boom gates. Lockers. |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The Kooyong Classic. Stage it. Complaints. Cancel it. Complaints. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Grass courts open for full members |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | With no-one setting foot on them |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Pool cleaning during members hours |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Lack of eucalyptus in the sauna |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | The arse wipes just drink it |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | They what? Isn't it in there for aroma purposes? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Nope, they just guzzle it up like maniacs, Robbo |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | No baby powder in the changerooms. For what? Sore arse cracks? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | If the authorties check |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | my seach history, I'm fucked |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | That bloody sauna will be the death of me |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Rocks going missing. 9PM Closures. Worm Farms |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Complaints. More complaints. And then even more. Honestly, |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | It’s a miracle anything gets done around here with responding to this garbage |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Don't get me started on the pickle balls courts |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | We build the damn things, then we shut them down for OH&S reasons |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Complete imbeciles. All of them |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Moaning about our reciprocal clubs. Denmark House |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Who hasn't heard of that fine establishment? |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Unadvertised happy hours |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Expensive tennis coaching. Injuries in the gym. Lacks of courts |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | For fucks sake, we have 53 of them. How many more do they want? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | 1982 swipe card technology |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Membership increases to damn near $2,000 |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | With half the renewal invoices cocked-up |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Oh dear, I thought we kept them on the down-low |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Incompetence everywhere I look |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | And I know you pricks have been eating Wagyu burgers by the dozen |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Fat Fucks |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | 550 day aged now right? Fuck me dead |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Now, someone get on the email machine, send out this weeks 11th Members Update email |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | and give every single one of the 8,500 members, the |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Royal South Yarra application form. Which they bloody well won't ready anyway |
