| 00:00 - 00:03 | Listen up. We have a situation brewing. |
| 00:03 - 00:05 | The peasants have expressed displeasure in the app chat... |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and in the group chat. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | They're also sending messages to you, Mein Führer. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | The messages are piling up and becoming more personal. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Get to the point. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | What are the messages about? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Führer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Lotte... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Lotte called you a fucking idiot. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They are also making gay slurs. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Leave now if I've ever given you an HJ, BJ, ZJ, or all three. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | I've been called many things before! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Horrendous, insulting things before! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | But NEVER BEFORE have I been called a fucking idiot! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I don't care about the gay jokes. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I've known I was gay ever since I became a Jets fan! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Thirty-one other teams in the league and I choose them?! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | It all started with my fetish for Mark Sanchez and his butt fumble! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Besides, everyone knows all redheads love cock! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Mein Führer, you don't have red hair - you're bald! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I USED to have red hair! I got it from my father! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Führer, what about your wife, Sarah?! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Of course I love my wife, you son of a bitch! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | But it's not the same! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | We've tried everything. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Strap-ons, anal beads, spitting in my mouth... |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | But nothing beats the real thing! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I've had too much of the real thing to play silly games! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | The only dick I haven't sucked is Luke's... |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | it's hard to open my mouth that wide. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | But that's not my fault; it's the biggest dick in the world! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | It's in the Guinness Book. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | But I digress... I'm a man of great integrity. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I'm not a fucking idiot! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Far from it... |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Year after year I've bent over backwards for this league! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Let alone the number of times I've bent over forward! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And this is the thanks I get?! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | If anyone's a fucking idiot, it's Besemer! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | A 10th for a 16th straight up?! There's a fucking idiot! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's OK, sweetie, we all knew Sarah was his beard. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I should've known this was coming. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | My friend, Kyle, hung up on me today. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Over this. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | That prick... Is at fault. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Next year, we'll fix the keeper deadline so everyone is happy. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | But I'm still going to suck cocks! |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I'll see you August 25th. |
