| 00:00 - 00:05 | So we set up a meeting with everyone in the cluster |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | come on lets go, every single employee. get your ass in the webex |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | Every country of the EUSW cluster |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | We even added SSU south africa for some reason |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | And we called this thing "Fit for the Future" |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | Fit |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | Fit |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | we called it fit for the future |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | they ate it all |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | We made it sound like some big improvement |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | that we should work as one company |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | SICK beyond borders they used to call it |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | No more SSU's |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | More customer contact |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | We added five layers of management |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | In 10 different frameworks |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | frameworks |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | and every framework with 10 managers |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | to make it more efficient we said |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | We didn't understand it ourselves, no one understood it at all in fact |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | We couldn't even explain it |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | the webex was a mess and left everyone confused |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | Employees actually feared for their jobs |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | So we had to come up with something good |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | And HR came with the great idea |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | that this is in fact a great opportunity |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | if you're ambitious |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | you should apply for a cluster position |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | of course all the vacancies were already filled in, everyone knew that |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | it wasn't even a secret anymore |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | opportunities |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | opportunities |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | we even made a job page on mosaic |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | with job descriptions and everything |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | We put up group chat with every employee of EUSW on webex with announcements, all with chatGPT |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | chatGPT? |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | ChatGPT of course |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | how else could we explain such nonsense |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | We fed it so much nonsense |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | no one even proof reads that stuff |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | What about our customers? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | We don't give a shit about them of course, they can buy our sensors on the webshop now |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | Most of our sales guys can't even tie their own shoes |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | as long as we save our bonusses |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | but we're more agile now in any case |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | the board at AG loves to hear that |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | they care more about changing the colour of our damn logo apparently |
