| 00:00 - 00:05 | Well, you'll never guess what's happened now |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Rusthall have their best ever season |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | While the mighty Tunbridge Wells finish 14 points behind and nearly go out of business |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | Their thick fans gave up on them, loads of players left, relegation was a real possibility |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | And you should see their pitch |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | Trenches |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | Trenches |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | But make sure you go in the day cos the floodlights don't facking work |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | ... |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | The fans should have saved 50ps for the meter rather than destroying their own pitch |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | James White must be pulling out his beautiful hair |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | We took their two best players |
| 00:58 - 00:59 | Frank Griffin hates them |
| 00:59 - 01:01 | And Bissett thinks they're knobs |
| 01:04 - 01:06 | And he's right |
| 01:06 - 01:08 | Absolute knobs |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | Trenches |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | They tried to sign Dan Blunn |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | As if anyone that beautiful would go there |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | He'd catch either the plague from the toilets or ugliness from the fans |
| 01:35 - 01:36 | ... |
| 01:36 - 01:39 | The whole place is a sewer |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | Their best player is only still at the club |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | cos they owe him about 8 grand |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | Maybe the doctors, lawyers and architects can step in |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | Or maybe not |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | Jimmy Ando must be pissing himself |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | Everyone in the SCEFL hates them |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | If they'd gone out of business, hysterical |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | ... |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | Hysterical |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | ... |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | At least we get to see them |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | fart-arse around next season |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | I can't wait to see them all shuffle into Jockey Farm to make zero noise again |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | ... |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | Absolutely no noise |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | They've only got one song |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | And they don't sing that |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | They still call Rusthall 'Little Sister' |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | Is there any hope for them? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | Not much. Some might say that's sad. |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | But not me. Or the RSG. |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | Sorry, they're a joke |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | Are you thinking of their pitch again? |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | Or about when they lost 5-0 to Sutton |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | Up the Rustics, right? |
