Newsom Finds Out LA is Burning
31 views1/11/2025
The news comes to Sacramento, Newsom and his loyal staff confront the horror.
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | So the Palisades and Altadena are gone |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Movie stars are homeless |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Our best influencers are outraged |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Now Hollywood is under siege |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Gridlock is preventing emergency access |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | We can end this with water from the reservoir |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Just get the hose crews there |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Newsom... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Sir... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | They emptied the reservoir last year. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The hydrants are dry. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | DEI hires leave the room. Straight white males only. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | The hydrants are dry? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | The reservoir is empty? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | The mayor is in fucking Ghana? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Do you realize what you've done? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Shh, we'll blame Trump |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | You clowns are a walking GOP ad |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Carter's no longer the most incompetent! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I am! Because of you nitwits! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | We have made excellent pronoun progress |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | See? That's just the bullshit that got us here |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But equity is your Administration's priority |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Dumbshit! Now our reliable voter base is in flames! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | We depend on these people! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Every election, what LA wants, LA gets |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | And we have lost LA! Forever |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Now the rest of the state gets a say |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And LA might vote like Fresno! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Fucking Fresno! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Maybe even fucking Redding! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | You cannot comprehend the disaster |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Our dream of a communist California is gone |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Carter died, and it's like Reagan resurrected |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Maybe even Coolidge |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Nothing can make this worse |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | The disaster is total |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | No one cares about fires |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Everyone's forgotten Maui and Oakland and Laguna |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | But not with movie stars! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Not with influencers! Beautiful people! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Surely there's a Trump angle |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | It's impossible. It's all gone. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | All we worked for. Our heroes... |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Mao and Fidel and Che... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Gone with the wind |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Maybe.. I have a thought... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Maybe we can blame it on global warming |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | So transparent. But maybe they'll forget the reservoir. |