New shiny app
61 views11/29/2024
Just a recipe for another corporate software project.
X^the moon
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| 00:00 - 00:05 | And the manager tells me. Come on guys let's join that new project |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | quickly, no need to spend time on that old trading app anymore |
| 00:07 - 00:10 | this will be the biggest innovation we've ever done in this company |
| 00:11 - 00:16 | they gathered every developer they could, put them together and guess what |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | they forgot to hire anybody to gather and document requirements |
| 00:21 - 00:24 | would you believe that? |
| 00:29 - 00:31 | would you believe that? |
| 00:31 - 00:34 | They got like 50 technical people and not even a single person responsible for requirements |
| 00:38 - 00:40 | would you believe that? |
| 00:41 - 00:47 | In the end devs were spending more time gathering any docs they could find in the internal network |
| 00:47 - 00:50 | to at least slightly understand what needs to be done |
| 00:50 - 00:56 | than they were spending writing real code. And when they raised that issue they were called idiots |
| 00:58 - 01:00 | they were told there are already requirements |
| 01:00 - 01:01 | they need to make a working app |
| 01:04 - 01:07 | management said it's probably cause they are not pushing designers enough |
| 01:07 - 01:08 | but these folks also have no clue how the app should work |
| 01:13 - 01:14 | would you believe that? |
| 01:14 - 01:16 | they've ignored every |
| 01:16 - 01:20 | single result of real user testing research |
| 01:21 - 01:27 | we are like Steve Jobs, we know better what user needs are |
| 01:34 - 01:35 | the guy responsible for this project |
| 01:35 - 01:40 | has already messed up a few key projects... looks like he'll have another one for his collection. |
| 01:41 - 01:44 | But now, seriously how it started |
| 01:44 - 01:47 | They had everything technically described in the huge diagram |
| 01:47 - 01:49 | but in the end it turned out... |
| 01:50 - 01:53 | even the author had no clue what needs to be done |
| 01:54 - 01:56 | they came up with the diagram |
| 01:56 - 01:58 | like they would planning a moon mission |
| 01:58 - 02:02 | there were included all technical trends of the last 5 years to make somebody look smart |
| 02:05 - 02:07 | would you believe that? |
| 02:10 - 02:11 | and CTO.. |
| 02:11 - 02:13 | ..and CTO.. |
| 02:15 - 02:17 | was so impressed that even promoted that guy |
| 02:17 - 02:20 | despite him being a sociopath |
| 02:21 - 02:28 | All the people who contributed their two cents over the past years were overlooked |
| 02:29 - 02:30 | or fired? |
| 02:30 - 02:32 | or fired, that's true |
| 02:36 - 02:39 | we call it Corporate Gratitude Derivatives |
| 02:40 - 02:42 | with good appreciation ROI |
| 02:50 - 02:55 | That's not what I expected that when joining that project |
| 02:56 - 02:58 | would you join this project again? |
| 02:58 - 03:04 | Of course! |
| 03:04 - 03:09 | I never say no to good fireworks |
| 03:09 - 03:11 | oh and I missed to tell you one thing |
| 03:16 - 03:20 | the release is next month |
| 03:23 - 03:26 | and they still believe it's going to happen |
| 03:31 - 03:36 | oh these fireworks are going to be epic |