| 00:00 - 00:03 | The usual route down |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Stop over just outside Frome |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Then up at 01:30 |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | For a short drive to the car park, then on to Gate D |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Where we watch the sunrise |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Finally, Alanis and En Vogue |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | at the same festival |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Sir, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | I regret .... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Alanis and En Vogue, clash |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Alanis on the pointy one, Vogue on Jazz World |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone not planning to watch The Prodigy on Sunday get out of my sight now! |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the actual FUCK! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Alanis is one of the seminal artists of the 90's |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | En Vogue's "My Lovin" was a pivotal tune at the end of a night in Options! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | How can they put them on at the same time? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Hours spent listening to Jagged LIttle Pill |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Learning the dance moves to En Vogue in the mirror |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Next you will be telling me |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | that Four Tet and Maribou State clash! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, they do clash! Woodsies and the Jazz World |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | You are fucking kidding me! This is getting beyond a joke |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, you could run between the 2 and see both? |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I'm 47 you fucking idiot, it's not 2004 anymore |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Every fucking year it's the same! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I just wanted to get my 90's on |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | But no, they put all the good bands on |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | at the same fucking time |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I just want to get rid of this teen angst for fucks sake |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I was looking forward to singing along to Ironic, Hand in my Pocket and Mary Jane |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Now I have been denied! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | There was no point in getting the En Vogue tattoo on my arse! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | It really fucking hurt too |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | He nicked my gooch with the needle |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | How he managed that is beyond me. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Please tell me |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | there is some good news somewhere, |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Chic and Snow Patrol surely don't clash do they? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Surely not? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Only a moron would have them on at the same time |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | It would be pure madness! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | They haven't told him about Wolf Alice and Future Islands yet |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I almost give up |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | They fuck me over every year! |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It's not fair! |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | It could be worse I suppose |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | At least that wanker Chris Martin isn't playing again! |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | We can be grateful for that |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | 2027, KLF, you heard it here first! |
