| 00:00 - 00:03 | Defensive spending is down to 1.5% |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Ammo production is |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | down here, here and here |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Even Disney refuses to |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | build a new park here |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | At least Poland will |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | always be weaker than us |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Actually Sir, |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | They have the |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | most powerful army in Europe |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | with over 5% spending! |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone that thought orcs attacking Ukraine was a good idea exit the room, now... |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the hell is Putin thinking?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Hasn't he watched me rule on meth?! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Obviously Ukraine knows how to destroy weapons they designed! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | These idiots send washing machines back... |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Our women will wait they said! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Instead it's been over 2 years! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Over 460 thousand dead with a thousand more daily |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Over 7000 tanks destroyed, 7000! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But Sir, orcs took Avdiivka! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | You couldn't even find Avdiivka on the map! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But Sir, it's a strategic city! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | It's a village, you can't even spell the name! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Putin is a moron! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | What's wrong with the world!? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Ukraine is winning the war with tracktors |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | American politicians are playing "We're in, we're out" |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Poland is the most powerful land army in Europe |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Even German officials are in bed with the orcs because they value oil more |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I'm dethroned as the worst military mind of all time |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And to top it off, the French are threatening an attack! THE FRENCH! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | This sounds like a horror novel |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | How else do children's toys destroy a tank? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Panzers were symbolic of power |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Now a DIY drone |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | piloted by a child will take one out because the orc left the hatch open |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | To complete the humiliation, now Ukraine is getting F-16 Fighting Falcons |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | This will be the final word |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | It will reveal who is king of military aviation |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Of COURSE it's Yankee Doodle Dandy! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | I'm sure he's not talking about HIS "doodle" |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Do you want to know the real irony? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I could have prevented this by not backstabbing the orcs |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | I could have |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Just kept Stalin as my boytoy |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But I had to have it all. How hard are a bunch of peasants going to be to take over? |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I forgot one important detail. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Ukraine was part of the USSR. |
