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00:00 - 00:05So they put me on a new enterprise account as a designated Engineer
00:05 - 00:07TAM says chop, chop, chop, cust is going CAP
00:07 - 00:10So I try to triage all this broken software for dev, Lord help me
00:11 - 00:16Example, try AD join in GUI,
00:17 - 00:21Dev says input field in UI has no backend code it cant work!
00:21 - 00:24On a live customer call! NO BACKEND CODE!!
00:29 - 00:31Wasn't coded yet!
00:31 - 00:34Customer a year behind in deployment
00:38 - 00:40Dev ships feature with no code!
00:41 - 00:47QA never tested the feature, BTW this is final public 1.0 release
00:47 - 00:50Gets better, cust. has unsupported DB Shard config
00:50 - 00:56PM on CAP cust call says its possible!
00:58 - 00:59Internally dev says need time to research
00:59 - 01:01I said,fix their Shard config, noone else agreed
01:04 - 01:06Acc. team files MORE feature requests!
01:06 - 01:08more months go by....
01:13 - 01:14CDP from DB supp. said
01:14 - 01:16they weren't sure if their driver could handle it
01:16 - 01:203rd party vendor not even sure
01:21 - 01:27but we start coding more new features anyway, takes months
01:35 - 01:36we deliver DB feature patch
01:36 - 01:39the installation is not straightforward
01:41 - 01:44customer has no idea whats going on
01:44 - 01:47We patch all features, currently working in Dev
01:47 - 01:49But then cust turn around and say
01:50 - 01:53We have major code issues
01:54 - 01:56Major code issues!
01:56 - 01:58And code quality problems!
01:58 - 02:02Customer thinks they're finding new Bugs!
02:05 - 02:07Dev says feature solution provided
02:10 - 02:11Solution provided!
02:11 - 02:13Plus cust. runs unsupported LTS release in Prod
02:15 - 02:17Cust can't update to LTS for a year
02:17 - 02:20Prod is still on unsupported LTS
02:21 - 02:28because of other upgrade bugs in MAIN!
02:29 - 02:30upgrade bugs in MAIN!
02:30 - 02:32in MAIN, so we're moving them to latest LTS
02:36 - 02:39Plus they're on 3rd Party hardware
02:40 - 02:42Cust doesn't buy our hardware
02:50 - 02:55Hardware constantly has firmware issues, disks and controllers failing
02:56 - 02:58Now the account team
02:58 - 03:04wants internal development installing every patch
03:04 - 03:09The amount of time and resources this would take
03:09 - 03:11Unsustainable
03:16 - 03:20You know whats the best part, I'm on PTO next week
03:23 - 03:26Finally PTO, A year later, PTO!
03:31 - 03:36PTO, completely offline!