| 00:00 - 00:03 | The Freedom of Russia Legion |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | and the Russian Volunteer Corps |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | have taken several settlements in Belgorod Oblast |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Kozinka, Glotovo... |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Gora-Podol and Grayvoron. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Call Prigozhin... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | his Wagner soldiers will retake the area |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | President Putin... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Prigozhin... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Prigozhin's forces are exhausted |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | They want to leave Bakhmut before it is encircled by the AFU. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone leave except Shoigu, Gerasimov, Lavrov and Medvedev |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | It was supposed to take three days! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Three days to take Kyiv!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | And now we cannot even defend our own borders! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Our soldiers were supposed to come home... |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | with toilets and dishwashers |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | and I would be the new Tsar! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Instead they sold their fuel and equipment |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and are running at the first sign of a Ukrainian flag! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mr President, our soldiers are merely following your example |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Bunkerboy they call me! They made fun of my table! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mr President nobody would dare! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I bet Zelensky joked about it at the G7 summit |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Nobody takes me serious anymore! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Even Xi is leaving my messages on read nowadays |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | The only ones still listening to me are Lukashenko |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | and that hungarian cocksucker Orban! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | You told me our Kinzhal missiles could not be intercepted |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | even if I spent most of the budget on a pole dacing room in my Dacha! |
| 02:14 - 02:19 | Instead of those pole dancing classes I should have just stuck with swing dancing |
| 02:20 - 02:21 | like Stalin! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And now you tell me that someone is doing |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | a special military operation within our borders. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | That is my thing! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Copycats |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And the Ukrainians haven't even begun their counter offensive |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | with their new western equipment. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Meanwhile have to pay every time one of our soldiers dies in Ukraine! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | That money was supposed to go to my new yacht! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Instead I'm spending it on soldiers becoming sunflower fertilzer! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok. At least you're getting a Lada out of it |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I hear Ukraine is getting F-16s now |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | and they are calling for a 100km demilitarised zone |
| 03:25 - 03:27 | inside Russia |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Maybe if I offer Lukashenko something... |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | ...he will allow me to have Belarus before Crimea falls |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | That idiot doesn't even want to be a general |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | just a colonel |
