| 00:01 - 00:07 | The BBC is pleased to announce the election of Comrade Corbyn as Leader of the Labour Party. |
| 00:08 - 00:13 | He will usher in a new era of Socialist Utopia and there will be no need for further elections. |
| 00:14 - 00:18 | Comrade Corbyn will banish war |
| 00:19 - 00:20 | So we won't need nuclear weapons |
| 00:21 - 00:23 | And Comrade Sturgeon will rejoice as will Comrade Putin. |
| 00:24 - 00:30 | Comrades will be equal and travel by bicycle |
| 00:31 - 00:35 | But they will be better than Borris Bikes |
| 00:36 - 00:38 | They'll be red and called Bolshie Bikes |
| 00:39 - 00:42 | Comrades will work, unless they receive Welfare and the economy will be re-based on Yoghurt Knitting |
| 00:43 - 00:46 | Comrades will eat Nut Cutlets |
| 00:46 - 00:49 | And heat their homes with self-generated Methane |
| 00:49 - 00:52 | All will be happy under Comrade Corbyn - or they'll be shot! |
