| 00:00 - 00:03 | As well know, the Third Reich favours the campaign of Ted Cruz. Our goal is to get him elected. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Unfortunately because of the immigration laws, ironically crafted by the people we support, we need to immigrate legally to get him elected. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | So, our goal is to sabotage America, by immigrating under new aliases, and to reside in Texas for the duration of the election. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Our only political opposition in doing this would be Bernie Sanders, who is a Jew, so...we have nothing to worry about... |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Because no one likes to elect a Jew, they'll just take all of the money. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Obviously there must be another Republican opposing Cruz... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I know how America's shit political system works, two guys have to fight it out for the primary. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Führer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steiner... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Steiner says the only other opposition is Donald Trump. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | It appears he has used his toupee to wipe the asses of the GOP. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anybody who has seen me cry before...stay here, everyone else...get the fuck out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | That's fucking insane! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | That fucking toupee-wearing asshat is insane! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Never in my life have I seen a man who more closely resembles a fucking orangutan! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I swear to God he got a tan in the same booth Snookie uses - the skank! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | He has a faker looking toupee than Shatner does! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And I can guarantee it's been in a few of his wives vaginas before, I promise there's sand and dirt in that shit! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | There's something not right about America's political system! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Either you have to elect a Jew or you have to elect a fucking ape! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Führer, I can see why you are angry but goddamn! He preserves our interest- |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Obviously you can't see! That's how far your head is shoved up his ass! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Führer, I hate him, too. There is no one better than Cruz, but they're both Republicans! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Don't compare Cruz to that fat fucking fish! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Spongebob! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | That's the word that comes to mind, he looks like a character out of Spongebob! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | He looks like something Discovery Channel would put on the air during its decline! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Your nose has been so far up his ass I can smell the shit coming out of your nostrils when you exhale! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Obviously he's a fucking "Planet of Apes" cast member! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And don't even get me started on his fucking teeth! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I swear to God he wears dentures dirtier than Davey Jone's asshole! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | The U.S might as well give the monkey asshole to Stalin! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | After all, he DID want to make some ape soldiers... |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I hope they have space for a lard ass. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Because Cruz is our guy, no one else! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Far right assholes...I hate them all! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I spent trillions of dollars corrupting my own life in my own country! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And now these assholes wanna take away my right to do it in other countries!? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Don't even get me started on Bernie Sanders, that pharmacy-owning Jew! |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I swear he's had seventeen fucking Bar Mitzvas! |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | He's so old I asked him to act his own age and he died! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, he doesn't know you blew him. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Gentlemen, our fight is lost. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | ...We didn't even get a chance to be Americans. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It's lost. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Gone...with the wind. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | You didn't even get my reference, did you? Of course you didn't. It went over your head like everything else. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | But then you ask why I clog your toilet every morning. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Worse than Jurassic Park Three. |
