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Sales Conference
Strategy meeting - Daisy South May 2021 - Live from the bunker

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00:00 - 00:03The North have made a breakthrough
00:04 - 00:05So have the Midlands
00:05 - 00:07they are both forecasting target for April
00:08 - 00:12What a brilliant year last year it was boss
00:12 - 00:15We beat the Midlands, The North, Desk, New Business
00:17 - 00:19That’s great Jake what about April?
00:19 - 00:21How are we looking?
00:24 - 00:26Wayne
00:27 - 00:28Darling
00:31 - 00:33Wayne It looks like we are going to miss target for April
00:34 - 00:36Karen’s increased the targets
00:53 - 00:58If anyone hasn’t sold DHV get the fuck out of my office
01:13 - 01:15It’s the first month of the new financial year, what the actual FUCK!!
01:15 - 01:17Where the fuck are all my orders?
01:18 - 01:23We never miss target!!
01:25 - 01:28Everyone has been lying to me, even Ben!
01:29 - 01:31Where’s the big mobile deal that Ollie has committed?
01:31 - 01:34the O365 deal Jade was banging on about?
01:34 - 01:37Jon's big Clark's deal
01:37 - 01:40not mention the 9 billion SIM’s Vikesh was wanking over?
01:40 - 01:42 But the specialists have no bid on everything boss.
01:42 - 01:46You are always blaming registry, specialists and Jeff.
01:46 - 01:48Wayne, this is a joke mate.
01:48 - 01:52Typical sales its never the sales person fault
01:53 - 01:54This is bollocks, WE ARE THE SOUTH
01:56 - 01:57You call yourself sales people
01:57 - 02:00jake just because you spent years selling shitty Mondeo’s at Dagenham Motors
02:00 - 02:03You can’t even spell DHV
02:04 - 02:08You’ve had Showpad, Talking Heads, FLIP, Smart Not Harder, Samsung, Truphone and Nokia Training.
02:08 - 02:13You’ve also got POWER BI that basically does the job for you
02:14 - 02:16AND I AM EVEN GIVING YOU GAMMA ACADEMY
02:17 - 02:21WITH BEN AVERY AND NIKKI FREEMAN ON TAP 24/7!!!
02:27 - 02:29Fucking hell I could do this job on my own.
02:30 - 02:34All I hear is Jade’s Gatehouse deal this and Matt’s Saville’s deal that
02:34 - 02:36You guys couldn't close a barn door
02:41 - 02:42Have you heard Bestway or SAFESTYLE!?
02:43 - 02:47I HAVE THEM EATING OUT OF MY FUCKING HAND!
02:48 - 02:53You are all a bunch of useless swines!
02:54 - 02:56Jake I'd get a better forecast from Micheal Fish
02:56 - 02:59Don’t even mention James and Stephens £250k OOR.
03:00 - 03:02I've told you time and time again no one gives a shit about one off.
03:04 - 03:07Don’t worry Jess, Dr Shah has just given me the nod on one new data sim
03:14 - 03:16What am I going to say on the 5pm call?
03:19 - 03:23How have the fuck have you let this happen Jake?
03:25 - 03:26We’re FUCKED
03:31 - 03:33and Jake - so are you
03:40 - 03:46let's pack our desks up and steal all the tea and coffee
03:46 - 03:49even the milk if there's any left
03:53 - 03:56we're off to join Elite