Aga Khan Reacts to COVID
AKF Council Members break the news to Aga Khan on how COVID-19 may affect his business model.


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00:00 - 00:03Here's the latest news on COVID, Your Highness
00:04 - 00:05It started here in China
00:05 - 00:07And slowly spread to nearby countries
00:08 - 00:12Given how rapid the virus spreads
00:12 - 00:15Reports project a majority of China will be affected
00:17 - 00:19So only surrounding countries need to worry?
00:19 - 00:21There's no way it can affect us
00:24 - 00:26Your Highness
00:27 - 00:28We believe..
00:31 - 00:33We believe this will lead to a global pandemic
00:34 - 00:36Jamatkhanas will need to close immediately
00:53 - 00:58Everyone out. Except Ali, Iqbal, Husain and Malik
01:13 - 01:15What did I hire you guys for?
01:15 - 01:17To tell me we have to shut down Jamatkhanas?
01:18 - 01:23We will not close the doors to Jamatkhanas all over the world!
01:25 - 01:28How do you expect me to earn money?
01:29 - 01:31You worthless idiots!
01:31 - 01:34Yeah, let's close all Jamatkhanas! What a joke!
01:34 - 01:37How will these fools be able to hand me their money?
01:37 - 01:40Laundering the money through AKF takes 3 months alone
01:40 - 01:42Your Highness, please. This is the only option
01:42 - 01:46Only option? That's completely unacceptable!
01:46 - 01:48Your Highness, but the people's health...
01:48 - 01:52You think I give a shit about their health? Fuck them!
01:53 - 01:54I just want their money!
01:56 - 01:57That's the whole point of this scam.
01:57 - 02:00How do you think I paid for the chateau in Switzerland?
02:00 - 02:03Or that damn divorce settlement with my bitchy ex-wife?
02:04 - 02:08These morons believe I'm a direct descendant of Mohammed
02:08 - 02:13The Dasond and Dua money alone are my bread and butter
02:14 - 02:16Is that so hard to understand?
02:17 - 02:21I just paid the down payment for the 400 ft yacht
02:27 - 02:29It's bigger than that asshole Bezos' yacht
02:30 - 02:34There's no way I'm letting this happen to me
02:34 - 02:36They think I'm God's messenger
02:41 - 02:42And all these fucking humanitarian efforts
02:43 - 02:47Only exist for the public image and to keep the money rolling
02:48 - 02:53I haven't worked a day in my life and don't plan on changing that now
02:54 - 02:56Have you seen jet fuel prices recently?
02:56 - 02:59Do you know how much it cost to maintain those fucking horses?
03:00 - 03:02Or how much the new Portugal estate costs?
03:04 - 03:07C'mon, let's go say Dua
03:14 - 03:16We've kept the ruse going this long
03:19 - 03:23I can't go back to being driven around in a BMW
03:25 - 03:26Embarrassing
03:31 - 03:33There has to be another option
03:40 - 03:46Maybe when all of this is over I can do one of those stupid fucking Didars
03:46 - 03:49At least that will make up for some of the money lost
03:53 - 03:56Fucking bat eaters...