Hitler finds out Ryanair is cancelling flights
46,165 views • 9/16/2017
Description
Finds out flights are being cancelled due to pilot shortage...
Captions
| 00:00 - 00:03 | Crews are going out of hours all across the network |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Nobody is available on standby |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Flights may need to be cancelled |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | We've tried calling those pilots on days off |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | But seems like everyone is ignoring our calls |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Get Crew Control to call their next of kins |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | That'll teach them not to pick up |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Great Leader... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Crew Control.... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Crew Control have all resigned |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The last 2 just walked out saying "fuck this shit" |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Any pilots here who have applied to Norwegian, Jet2 or Wow, get out... |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | This is a disgrace! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Pilots are glorified taxi drivers! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Especially those contractor 'non-Ryanair' pilots! |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | If it weren't for me they'd be flying cargo planes |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | All because they want me to pay their Social Security?? |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Well they can fuck off to airlines that 'treat them fairly' |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | I'll replace them with monkeys that can press VNAV |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Great leader they just want to be treated with a modicum of respect |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | They work about 19 hours per week |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | They work more than just the block hours |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | The planes fly themselves! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I read that somewhere |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Tony Ryan told me... |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | 'Treat Pilots mean, keep them keen' |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Well that's come home to roost hasn't it |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | I've worked hard to instill a culture of fear and obnoxiousness |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And they repay me by fucking off to other airlines |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I hope they're happy with their 'salaries' and 'mortgage approvals' |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | They'll probably even get free uniforms the fuckin snobs |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | They can be all 'friendly' with their new management and get to know them by name |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I hope they enjoy being spoken to like adults |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And having their medicals paid for |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | And getting free tea / coffee! |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | They still moan about not getting tea or coffee |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Or bottles of water |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | How could I make a Billion Euro company by giving away free water? |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Or giving them 'pay rises' |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | 'Even just in line with inflation' |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Its ok, Stobart employs female pilots |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | At least we're still linking up with Norwegian for the long haul thing |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | And we've still got the 5/4 roster |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Right? |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | We'll spin in to press that we messed up the holidays |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | They won't find out the real reason |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | The share price will be fine |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Get me Ray on the phone please |