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Hitler finds out Ryanair is cancelling flights
46,311 views • 9/16/2017
Finds out flights are being cancelled due to pilot shortage...
00:00 - 00:03
Crews are going out of hours all across the network
00:04 - 00:05
Nobody is available on standby
00:05 - 00:07
Flights may need to be cancelled
00:08 - 00:12
We've tried calling those pilots on days off
00:12 - 00:15
But seems like everyone is ignoring our calls
00:17 - 00:19
Get Crew Control to call their next of kins
00:19 - 00:21
That'll teach them not to pick up
00:24 - 00:26
00:27 - 00:28
00:31 - 00:33
Crew Control have all resigned
00:34 - 00:36
The last 2 just walked out saying "fuck this shit"
00:53 - 00:58
Any pilots here who have applied to Norwegian, Jet2 or Wow, get out...
01:13 - 01:15
This is a disgrace!
01:15 - 01:17
Pilots are glorified taxi drivers!
01:18 - 01:23
Especially those contractor 'non-Ryanair' pilots!
01:25 - 01:28
If it weren't for me they'd be flying cargo planes
01:29 - 01:31
Full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong!
01:31 - 01:34
All because they want me to pay their Social Security??
01:34 - 01:37
Well they can fuck off to airlines that 'treat them fairly'
01:37 - 01:40
I'll replace them with monkeys that can press VNAV
01:40 - 01:42
Great leader they just want to be treated with a modicum of respect
01:42 - 01:46
They work about 19 hours per week
01:46 - 01:48
They work more than just the block hours
01:48 - 01:52
The planes fly themselves!
01:53 - 01:54
I read that somewhere
01:56 - 01:57
Tony Ryan told me...
01:57 - 02:00
'Treat Pilots mean, keep them keen'
02:00 - 02:03
Well that's come home to roost hasn't it
02:04 - 02:08
I've worked hard to instill a culture of fear and obnoxiousness
02:08 - 02:13
And they repay me by fucking off to other airlines
02:14 - 02:16
I hope they're happy with their 'salaries' and 'mortgage approvals'
02:17 - 02:21
They'll probably even get free uniforms the fuckin snobs
02:27 - 02:29
They can be all 'friendly' with their new management and get to know them by name
02:30 - 02:34
I hope they enjoy being spoken to like adults
02:34 - 02:36
And having their medicals paid for
02:41 - 02:42
And getting free tea / coffee!
02:43 - 02:47
They still moan about not getting tea or coffee
02:48 - 02:53
Or bottles of water
02:54 - 02:56
How could I make a Billion Euro company by giving away free water?
02:56 - 02:59
Or giving them 'pay rises'
03:00 - 03:02
'Even just in line with inflation'
03:04 - 03:07
Its ok, Stobart employs female pilots
03:14 - 03:16
At least we're still linking up with Norwegian for the long haul thing
03:19 - 03:23
And we've still got the 5/4 roster
03:25 - 03:26
03:31 - 03:33
We'll spin in to press that we messed up the holidays
03:40 - 03:46
They won't find out the real reason
03:46 - 03:49
The share price will be fine
03:53 - 03:56
Get me Ray on the phone please
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