| 00:00 - 00:03 | The program features moveable chess pieces |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The program also features loops |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | As well as a long list of variables |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The game is divided into subroutines |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Which check if the moves are valid or not |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | That's absolutely fine |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I've seen previous COMP1 programs |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | She... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | She couldn't prepare us for this |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The program is eight pages long. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone doing ICT or BTEC Computing, leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | COMPUTING IS MY GUARANTEED PASS |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | WHAT ARE THESE EIGHT PAGES OF BULLSHIT? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | LAST YEAR IT WAS HIGHER OR LOWER |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | NOW, ASSYRIAN CHESS? IS THIS A JOKE? |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | MY HOPES AND DREAMS CRUSHED BY AQA |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I CAN JUST ABOUT PRINT HELLO WORLD |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | AND NOW THEY WANT ME TO BE VALVE? |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Sir, it is only a simple text-based game... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | FUCK OFF, I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW A FOR LOOP WORKS |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Sir, you just need to use i++ |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | CAPTURE THE SARRUM, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | IT'S HORSE SHIT! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | Countless worksheets |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Handouts, PowerPoints |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE LIKE THE MOCK EXAM |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | FOR YEARS I HAVE BEEN COMPARED TO BILL GATES |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | JUST FOR BEING ABLE TO FIND THE RECYCLE BIN AND CONTROL PANEL |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | THAT'S WHY I SIGNED UP TO THIS CRAP |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | I MAY AS WELL HAVE DONE HISTORY AND STUDIED STALIN! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I have never felt so betrayed |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | After the SimCity reboot, I thought the world couldn't be more cruel |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Yet I'm here, Sunday night, staring at this shit |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Those bastards |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I'VE BEEN LED TO BELIEVE I AM A FUCKING PROGRAMMING GOD |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | THE NEXT ALMIGHTY GABEN THEY PROCLAIMED |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Oh how AQA will pay for this |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | MAKING ME SACRIFICE MY FIRST BORN TO PASS |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | THOSE HOMEWORKS WERE ALL A LIE |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, you were under 20% plagiarism |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | How will I explain this to my parents |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I told them I would get an A, I'd be able to go to university |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It's over |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I will have to resit |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But at least next year it'll be a new course |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Fewer hardware devices, more programming |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Maybe it won't be so bad. |
