Nottingham Congestion
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9/28/2026Nottingham City Council reacts to the fact that holding 2 major events on one day, in a city where half the roads are dug up and the other half covered in potholes, along with stupidly placed bus stops and cycle lanes still isn't causing enough co gestion
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | We will hold the marathon at the same time as goose fair |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Maximise inconvinenve for road users |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | If we also dig the road up at Crown island |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Total gridlock |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Keep the a52 closed and nothing moves |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Close a load of lanes off near Rock City as well |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Add in the tram strike and nothing moves |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Traffic is flowing |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Across trent bridge |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | I ordered total gridlock |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everybody who has let traffic flow leave now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | How can cars still be moving? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Its not like we didn't build enough road humps |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | and bus lanes |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Surely the potholes are helping |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Its ok, the ringroad is snarled up |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | This is no good |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Too few roadworks |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Not enough lane closures |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | We could make some more cycle lanes |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Not enough |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | How about badly placed bus stops? |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Don't give me that |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I designed |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | The farce thats |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Sneinton Dale |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | When the bus stops, everything stops |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | And on Beechdale Road |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | We've got more humps |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Than a camel farm |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Still the bloody traffic is flowing |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I'm not giving up |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | More temporary lights |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Even if there is no work being done |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | 20 miles an hour zones |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Everywhere, even the A roads |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Make sure every bus stop obstructs traffic |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Lots of road cones |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | If traffic moves, build a cycle lane |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Phase the lights for maximum congestion |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Think of all the irate drivers |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | The broad marsh diversion via jupiter |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Must be having an impact |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Maybe close more city centre roads |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I can't take anymore of this traffic flow |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | My whole vision was gridlock |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Im going out to place some roadcones |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I could be some time |