Most Glorious Trust News at 10
21 views6/5/2026
Setting the record straight on the rumours swirling around The Most Glorious Trust
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| 00:01 - 00:03 | Hello Plebs and welcome to Trust news |
| 00:03 - 00:07 | The Board of the Most Glorious Trust is proud to report another year of unprecedented success |
| 00:08 - 00:10 | Following a highly innovative financial strategy, several staff have been liberated from employment, |
| 00:10 - 00:14 | Industrial action by employees should not be described as strikes. Rather, spontaneous celebrations |
| 00:14 - 00:17 | of participative workforce engagement in which staff voluntarily demonstrated outside schools. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | This bold efficiency programme has been met with overwhelming enthusiasm, |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | The Chief Executive has chosen to resign after successfully completing all conceivable objectives |
| 00:21 - 00:22 | and absolutely not because everything was on fire. |
| 00:23 - 00:27 | Financial performance remains strong. While certain accounting documents contain negative numbers |
| 00:28 - 00:30 | these have been reclassified as "aspirational surpluses awaiting future manifestation." |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Parents continue to express their support through letters, complaints, meetings, and petitions. |
| 00:33 - 00:37 | The Board remains united in its commitment to transparency and commissioned an independent enquiry |
| 00:38 - 00:41 | whose findings will be published immediately after they become politically convenient. |
| 00:41 - 00:46 | The Board remains confident that the Trust's best days lie immediately ahead |
| 00:47 - 00:53 | just as they have for the past five years. Goodnight |