St. Cuthbert’s Way
19 views5/3/2026
Hitler finds out the St Cuthberts walk will be wet all week…
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| 00:00 - 00:03 | This is the route we’ll be taking on the walk |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We’ll get to Melrose about 4pm |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | First day to Jedburgh |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Michael made of a ballsup with Jedburgh digs |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | We’ll have to taxi it to get food and the bus back |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Easy mistake for the simpleton to make |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Is that the only issue? |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | That’s not all |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | It’s err… |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | It’s gonna lash it down all week |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | Frank checked with Wincy Willis too |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who hasn’t needed Frank to fix his bike when we’re away can leave |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Every time it’s the same |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | I only ask for one small break |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | It’ll be sunny before and after I bet too |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | Our partners will laugh their tits off |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | The wind will be in our faces too |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Simon won’t be able to sneak into other rooms as easily when he’s wet |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | Derek will be walking so fast he’ll dodge the rain |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | My waterproofs are from Aldi |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Aldi and Lidl hiking range have really improved over the years |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | But I’ve only got one pair of boots I might as well wear fake-crocs |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | We’ve got spare bin liners |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I might as well be wearing a sponge |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | You laugh, you’ve seen the aisle of wonder |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | I might as well wear my yellow budgie smugglers |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | We could’ve been walking in Spain but nooooo |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | The planning for this has been garbage! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Walk! Pah! It’s St Cuthberts Swim!! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | I bet the restaurants and wine selection will be shite too |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | And what about the packed lunches you retards |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | They’ll be like mush |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I’m a simple man |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I’m like David Attenborough’s gorillas |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | But I don’t have the muscles like Superman Duncan |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | OK right |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | The last stretch will be through the rising tide as well |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | This is a typical plan by committee and nobody owns it |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And we’ll have to get the stuff dried every night |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | My inner thighs will rub themselves off |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | You’ll have to put Vaseline on my arse too |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Keep it together he’s only got a small one |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | This is because I didn’t |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | share that bed and little spoon with Frank isn’t it |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | And when the rain stops |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I will be red raw |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | Let’s hope it stops by the time the lasses get there |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | Otherwise I’ll be the only thing damp that night |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Well there’s always the Campari! |