| 00:00 - 00:03 | Some important news on the MacKinnon front. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Leon Draisaitl... |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | was born here and is playing well. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | But he has now been injured... |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and McDavid won't have his best teammate. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | MacKinnon may now take over... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | without Draisaitl playing. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Lord Binnington...... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ....MacKinnon |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | MacKinnon just qualified for the playoffs. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | His team is now impossible to stop. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Anyone who dropped me from their Yahoo Fantasy, Fantrax, or ESPN roster, get out the room now. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck news is this!? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | He cost me the gold medal!!! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | How can this choker lead the league in scoring!? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | And he's the first to qualify for the playoffs? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | This better not last long. |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Now I'm going to have to unleash the SS. |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I've played this season unable to stop a beach ball. |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Now I'm going to have to play better than prime Hasek. |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Lord Binnington there's no chance you can play at that level. |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fuck you, I'm still the best goalie in the league, ask Team Canada. |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Lord Binnington, with respect, your numbers don't show this. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | That's because this team isn't worth playing for you twat. |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | The Blues are a fool's errand. |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You say I can't stop the puck. |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | But I'll show you when Beamer signs me up on his... |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Fantasy team, I'll play well then. |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | All the doubters will see, I'm going to... |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | play so well, they'll probably release this locker room speech onto Wiki Leaks! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I hate MacKinnon so much. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | He tarnished my reputation by missing that shot worse than Stalin! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | My legacy means everything. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | But how can I go on? A life not worth living if this isn't stopped. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | I'd like to tie a rope round him and choke him. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | For fuck sakes. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | When I won the Stanley Cup people respected and loved me! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | And now I'm nothing but a laughing stock because of fucking MacKinnon. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | But this isn't over. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | I swear I'm going to clutch up and qualify in 8th... |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | and make the fucker play golf in April!!! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, you can file for divorce. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | This is typical when your team doesn't score. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | It's just... I deserve better than you guys, you feel? |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It's obvious. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The Blues must rise. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | We will qualify for 8th and send MacKinnon packing. He doesn't deserve... |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | to be points leader or win a Cup. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Get my 2019 pads ready. |
