| 00:00 - 00:03 | Mr Harris, you have done it again |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | La Cala America, Calanova |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and Marbella Golf and Country Club |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Fucking impossible but many dog legs right |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | to suit your new £2000 driver |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Yes excellent |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | but don't call me a sprayer |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mr Harris |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | this year |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | this year you are not captain |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | they said you were shite last year |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Just a few beers, San Miguel, Estrella Damm and Cruzcampo |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | Not Captain! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | They forced me to get pissed |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | and then they sack me, absolute bastards, I was spiked |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I was fine in the morning |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Who thinks he's captain |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | I bet it's that traitor Wez |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | I've been giving him my old clothes for years |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and now he stabs me in the back |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | He has to turn the trousers up |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I don't give a shit, TX Maxx is way above him |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mr Harris, it's not Wez! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Well who the fuck is it then |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | I'm the lowest index |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | The longest hitter |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | The biggest drinker |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | They think they can replace me |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Next you will be telling me they picked the teams |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Probably picked glassed back Al as first pick, and that bellend Tour Pro |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | I only lost by 8 points last year |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | They all think the're special hitting 8 irons when I take a hybrid |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Oh Fuck me, it's not Senior Vice Pete is it |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | He throws his clubs further than he hits the ball |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And straighter too |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Senior Fucking Vice |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I had a shite team last year, they let me down badly |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Robbo, metal strength of a goat, and as weak as kitten |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Jon more shanks than a field of Lambs |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Tour Pro, don't get me started on that idiot |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | Kept banging on about his three wood |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Tracy did alright for a girl |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | And they gave me a female! |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Women shouldn't be allowed to play golf FFS |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It puts me off |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | That's it bollocks to him |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I'm going to park in his reserved spot down the club next year |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | And I'm putting a deposit down on Plot 9 at CP |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | They can book their own trip next year |
