| 00:00 - 00:03 | Recent pressures because of the Iran war |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | and market pressures |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | suffocating our HQ in SF, |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | we have started considering other ways |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | to motivate our staff around the world. |
| 00:17 - 00:21 | It's OK, I'm not in the US so I don't care. |
| 00:24 - 00:25 | Your Royal Highness... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | I'm afraid... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | ... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | I'm afraid that HR is tripping balls |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | and they're demanding office work 5 days a week. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Owen, Cal, Vass, stay here - everyone else out. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | What the fuck! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | What the ACTUAL fuck! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | I'm here scratching my balls day in, day out... |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | and these fuckers want to drag me to London? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I'll show them fucking London! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | They will regret the day, the fucking nazis! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | They think that calling all-hands meetings on Zoom |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | makes them all important and wise, the fucking morons! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | But what about all those training courses? |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Fuck your courses! I need to watch Dune 2! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | But HR is going to complain. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Who gives a shit about HR? Have you been on Slack?! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | It's all bullshit! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You think that people with names like |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | Jared and Zac and Dylan have any idea |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | what the fucking fuck they are doing? |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | If some Jared thinks that I will be commuting every day |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | he's definitely got another thing coming! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | Oh, how I wish I could just reach through the screen |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | in the Zoom call and punch them where it fucking hurts! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | I thought Postman was a cushy gig. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | I thought I'd save enough coin here to retire early. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | And then I'd be the king of the social club. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Fuckers. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | I've scratched every inch of my scrotum in the last four years |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | and this is how they fucking repay me? |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Just let them try to force this shit on me. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | Just let them. I will lose my shit for sure. |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I will dump all my shares to the shitter! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Don't worry. I've called Sydney Sweeney to come help. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I don't know what's worse anymore. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | The fact that I work at Postman, |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | or that I shouldn't. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | I'm done with this shit. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I am going to gather all my shares and savings, |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | buy all the $MELANIA tokens I can |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | and then just wait for the rocket to take off. |
