| 00:00 - 00:03 | We are conducting airstrikes on these strategic locations |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | We have bombed these two schools filled with little schoolgirls |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Over here, there is a river of oil burning in Tehran. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | It is raining oil and we have chemically destroyed the atmosphere of Tehran. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Here, we have targeted more launch sites for their missiles. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | What is the status of air defense? Has Steiner destroyed their factories? |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | I think this will be over well before Shabbat. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | My defense secretary... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Steiner... Steiner... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Indians in Kuwait shot Steiner down. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | The Iranians have set Israel on fire and destroyed half of our global THAAD air defense network. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Caine, Mahoney, George, Smith, and Caudle... please start printing out your DD-214s... |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN THE MIDDLE EAST? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | The President told me to WIN THIS WAR! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | Now you tell me that we are BLIND? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | The Iranians have blown all our radars, OUR ENTIRE ISR NETWORK, to HELL? |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | All of the Gulf is up in FLAMES! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | Their drones are running around hunting our top guys HOTEL ROOM TO HOTEL ROOM! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | They blew up my vacation home in Dubai! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | They've even captured Delta Force operatives and blew up all our airports! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Delta Force can still turn this around! Remember what happened in Venezuela! |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | VENEZUELA? That is IRRELEVANT TO GREATER ISRAEL! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | They are fighting hard in Iraq! |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Iraq? Who the fuck cares about Iraq? All oil production has come to a HALT! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | THE HORMUZ IS CLOSED! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | My generals, have you not realized that they ae copying our war games and using them against us? |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | My shareholder bosses are BEHIND ON SCHEDULE! |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | The Kabbalists told us Baal would accept our SACRIFICES! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | This was supposed to be a HOLY WAR FOR CHRIST AND THE JEWS! |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Clearly I am God's chosen because when I was in the army we destroyed our enemies swiftly! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | We are a SUPERPOWER and we cannot even destroy an international pariah? |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | We are letting Indians shoot down million dollar fighter jets? |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | We have already wasted BILLIONS shooting at DECOYS? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Capitulation? Is that what the Iranians are asking of us? |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Europe will not help us! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | We should have taken Greenland when we had the chance. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | Last year, we had the chance to destroy the regime, but Israel said no! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | They are using us as their goyim in their war in the Middle East! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | We are America, we are the greatest country in the world. |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | AND YET WE CANT SPILL MORE IRANIAN BLOOD? |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | ALL OF YOU POINT AT EVERY CIVILIAN TARGET YOU CAN THINK OF AND SEND THE FIGHTERS! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's okay, A.O.C. This just means more voters for us! |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Netanyahu and the IDF NEED US TO SAVE JERUSALEM! |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | We must not give up, for we are Armaggedon. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | The Jews are our masters, and we must follow them to bring back the Messiah. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Come what may, the war must be won. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I need you to start drafting. We must invade the Iranian mainland. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | If the Kurds won't do it, it must be us. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | We must finish this war, as Bibi must build the Third Temple. |
