| 00:00 - 00:03 | Ethan has now topped 200 points in the first week of the championship. |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Derrick Henry went nuclear Saturday Night, |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | and the Purdy/Tonges stack popped off Sunday Night. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | The 3-headed Christmas Cowboys stack underperformed, |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | and both of your runningbacks failed to top 10 points. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Surely my Monday Night players, |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Drake London and Rams D, will put me back in striking distance. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Drake London... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Drake London failed to reach 2 points on Monday Night Football. |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | You failed to reach 100 points on the week. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Please stay in the room: Dak Prescott, George Pickens, Jauan Jennings and Juwan Johnson. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | LESS THAN 100 POINTS? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | LESS THAN 100 POINTS IN THE FIRST WEEK OF THE CHAMPIONSHIP?? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I COULDN'T EVEN GET HALF OF ETHAN'S POINTS??? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | This is by far our most disappointing display of the year. |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | Everybody this week was totally useless! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | My 3 Cowboys couldn't top 45 points on the Commies! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | And don't get me started on my runningbacks! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | They're scrubs and utterly talentless! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Mein Fuhrer, I must remind you it was your choice to go zero RB in the draft... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | They're scrubs! Benchwarmers and jobbers! |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Mein Fuhrer, they're rookies and will be better next year. |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | My runningback stable is the worst in the league! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Worse than Connor's! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | "Oh but Treveyon can pop off 40 yard runs" |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | "Woody Marks can be the workhorse Texans back and carry the offense" |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | All of it, this whole time, bullshit! |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | My draft strategy only worked because I grabbed Pickens in the 6th |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | All of my high round guys like Ceedee, London and Bowers have all been injured and inconsistent! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | What I should have done! |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Is believed in white boy magic like Daniel and drafted CMC at pick 5! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | And the regular season was so good too. |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | #1 in PF, never scored under 100 in a week. 11-3 record |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Never been done in the league before! |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | All down the drain. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And you mean to tell me Drake London can't top 2 points and 2 targets on Monday Night Football?! |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | At this rate I should have just started Taysom Hill for the vibes! |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | "Wide Receiver Stable of Death" they said |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | "Anyone liable for a nuclear game" they said |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | My starting Wide Receivers couldn't even put up 40 put together! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | It's ok Ceedee, you'll still be a first rounder next year. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | Sleeper says I still have a 10% win prob. |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | But I know the truth of the matter after this week. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | It's over. |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | The championship is lost. |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | But if you think I'm giving up on my Macho Men, you're sorely mistaken. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I need to feel something during commercial-filled RedZone. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | Now get out, scrubs |
