| 00:00 - 00:03 | Sir we have just received a report from Sleeper |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | The Rams versus Falcons game is about to commence |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Bijan Robinson is locked and loaded to start the match |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | Kerr Horak is also playing Puka Nacua |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Unfortunately Bijan is projected slightly less than Puka |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | Fine by me... |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | ...just as long as the rest of To Infinity and Bijan has done its job. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Sleeper... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Sleeper currently projects you a 1% chance of winning |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | To Infinity and Bijan has a 93.6 point deficit |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone but Mayfield... McBride... Cook... Leave now |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | 93.6?! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | How could this have been allowed to happen?! |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | The championship match started with a 50/50 split projection |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | I even told Kerr Horak "its inevitable" |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | I was going to be a DYNASTY |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | A true dynasty that would establish my reich |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | But you idiots couldnt perform |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | None of you came through for me - |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | Cook: Mein Fuhrer, I was against Philly's strong run defence |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | I dont give a fuck, score a fucking touchdown |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | Cook: Mein Fuhrer, Josh Allen vultured me |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | I dont give a fuck, you just got a $48M contract extension |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | SCORE FOR ME |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | You were the RB2 while I was on bye |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | And now you choose to fuck around and let Allen vulture your touchdowns |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | You were on the 1 yard line twice |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Parker Washington put up double your points |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | Phillip Fucking Rivers outperformed you |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | 44 year old Phillip Rivers |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | Your a bum, you are all fucking bums |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | Atleast McBride tried his best for me |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Broke the tight end reception record |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | The best season for a tight end in the history of the league |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | Fucking Garret Wilson |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | He dissapeared in week fucking six, WR 60 on the year |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | Dobbins was supposed to be the Father of Batman |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And then I trade for Jaylen Waddle |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | He was supposed to have the easiest playoff matchups |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | And he plays 25% of snaps in the championship week |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | Waddle: Dont cry Spears, you did better than me |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | I guess it really was inevitable |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | Its just, my trophy looks so good |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | All is lost |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | My 2026 picks are all gone |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | I gave up my only prospect for fucking Waddle |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | I traded my first for Justin Fucking Fields |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I guess theres always next year. |
