Hitler holds a pilot safety meeting

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610 views11/27/2025
After a tragic accidents NURPs brief the system chief pilot about next steps.

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00:00 - 00:03We have sent out messages of condolence.
00:04 - 00:05Abundance of caution.
00:05 - 00:07Safety is our top priority.
00:08 - 00:12Our partners in safety.
00:12 - 00:15Where our employees enjoy…
00:17 - 00:19They aren’t buying it…
00:19 - 00:21We’re considering pizza…
00:24 - 00:26In the meantime…
00:27 - 00:28Billboards
00:31 - 00:33from lawfirms are popping up.
00:34 - 00:36YouTubers are…
00:53 - 00:58All level 2 NURPS out now!
01:13 - 01:15Line checks!
01:15 - 01:17Drug tests!
01:18 - 01:23Find Gummer!
01:25 - 01:28Don’t worry, you’ve got your Porsche
01:29 - 01:31Hire more NURPS now!
01:31 - 01:34Cheaper catering!
01:34 - 01:37No bottled water!
01:37 - 01:40Motel 6 everywhere!
01:40 - 01:42But event reports…
01:42 - 01:46We ignore those already.
01:46 - 01:48But the NTSB is on us.
01:48 - 01:52I’ll pay them off.
01:53 - 01:54Bring me Hemko now!
01:56 - 01:57Bug the vans!
01:57 - 02:00Drug the catering!
02:00 - 02:03Drown them in bulletins!
02:04 - 02:08Make a new banner!
02:08 - 02:13For fuck sake find me Gummer! And Hemko!
02:14 - 02:16This must stop!
02:17 - 02:21They are uniting against me!
02:27 - 02:29The stock price is tanking.
02:30 - 02:34I was going to be on Rogan.
02:34 - 02:36And The View!
02:41 - 02:42But now…
02:43 - 02:47I’d be lucky to get on CNN.
02:48 - 02:53Who do I blame?
02:54 - 02:56Maybe Sideshow?
02:56 - 02:59Or Joe Bell?
03:00 - 03:02Or the van drivers?
03:04 - 03:07He’ll find a scapegoat.
03:14 - 03:16Where is Gummer?
03:19 - 03:23Oh fuck it…
03:25 - 03:26Maybe I’ll…
03:31 - 03:33Restructure this place.
03:40 - 03:46Let NURPS unionize and actually embrace safety.
03:46 - 03:49Or just put up…
03:53 - 03:56An appearance mirror.