Thaddeus Roberts Learns His Latest Video Got Six Views
19 views • 10/10/2025
Thaddeus Roberts' presidential campaign is off to a rocky start.
00:00 - 00:03 | Thaddeus, your youtube analytics has crunched |
00:04 - 00:05 | the numbers. The video, "Civil War" |
00:05 - 00:07 | has been viewed by |
00:08 - 00:12 | three web-crawlers and |
00:12 - 00:15 | two Russian bots. Bringing the total views to 5. |
00:17 - 00:19 | That's fine. With 6 views |
00:19 - 00:21 | someone actually must have watched it. |
00:24 - 00:26 | Thaddeus... |
00:27 - 00:28 | Your mom... |
00:31 - 00:33 | Your mom somehow got on the computer |
00:34 - 00:36 | and Googled your name. She was the 6th. |
00:53 - 00:58 | Everyone here who hasn't watched ANY of my videos to the end, please leave. |
01:13 - 01:15 | I spent months! |
01:15 - 01:17 | Literally worked for months! |
01:18 - 01:23 | Trying to get every word right. Rewriting and rewriting. |
01:25 - 01:28 | I guess I can run the first presidential campaign |
01:29 - 01:31 | entirely fueled by pathos. |
01:31 - 01:34 | I knew I should have put in something a little XXX. |
01:34 - 01:37 | At least a provocative thumbnail. |
01:37 - 01:40 | Something to draw these rubes in. |
01:40 - 01:42 | Your videos were long, boring political rants! |
01:42 - 01:46 | I don't CARE! We're fighting Trump and MAGA!! |
01:46 - 01:48 | Thaddeus, you're not the only anti-MAGA... |
01:48 - 01:52 | Do you think I don't know that? |
01:53 - 01:54 | Even that pen says Kamala Harris |
01:56 - 01:57 | I didn't even ask for |
01:57 - 02:00 | money like the Democrats |
02:00 - 02:03 | that's all they did |
02:04 - 02:08 | Every time I saw that woman's face |
02:08 - 02:13 | she had her hand out |
02:14 - 02:16 | Where's the sweet campaign money for Thaddeus? |
02:17 - 02:21 | Zero! Trump makes more money tweeting on the toilet I'm not kidding! |
02:27 - 02:29 | I lived out of my car for months. |
02:30 - 02:34 | Me, Thaddeus Roberts, the great philosopher |
02:34 - 02:36 | Can you believe it? |
02:41 - 02:42 | That's right. |
02:43 - 02:47 | I have won trophies and awards |
02:48 - 02:53 | for my world-class self-pity. |
02:54 - 02:56 | None of you can compete with me. |
02:56 - 02:59 | My wallowing puts your self-pity to shame. |
03:00 - 03:02 | Watch and learn losers! |
03:04 - 03:07 | You did right by rejecting him for the prom. |
03:14 - 03:16 | Well, I've had a good life... |
03:19 - 03:23 | Oregon State, Berkeley... This is homestead Sofia |
03:25 - 03:26 | This his house. |
03:31 - 03:33 | The creek is forlorn. |
03:40 - 03:46 | Well, maybe I need |
03:46 - 03:49 | to take my meds. |
03:53 - 03:56 | Before Trump kills the ACA |
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