| 00:00 - 00:03 | Get her a strong coffee first thing... |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | Like Idris Elba. |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | Hot, black and steaming. |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | She'll need about three just to function. |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | Then we can all run in with the pressies. |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | And Fit at Fifty are on all the balloons. |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | Glittery gold lettering. |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Mein Fuhrer... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Schteiner... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Schteiner forgot to tell you that she's |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | actually turning 60 this year. |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | Can all those who knew this already, please leave the room. |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | WHAT THE ACTUAL F***!? |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | Why does no one keep me in the loop? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | She's 60!? Not 50!? HOW IS THAT?? |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | All those balloons, and bunting! |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | It's cost me a f***ing fortune! |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | And I can't use any of it now! |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | She doesn't even look 60! |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | Ron & Carol could have bloody said something! |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | My Fuhrer we could get a Sharpie pen and... |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | Sharpie!? Are you a complete twat or something, son? |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | My Fuhrer, just cross out 50 and... |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | Take your Sharpie pen and you know where to stick it! |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | Right up yer Harris! |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | She's a graphic designer! |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | She'll see through your pathetic attempts to cross bits out. |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | Quicker than you can say "ooh - Mein Fuhrer!" |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | Everyone will be laughing and pointing at me. Again. |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | And I'll be the one forced to wear the comedy Winston Churchill outfit! |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | You have NO IDEA how demeaning that is. |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | And Eva Braun will tell me off and claim she'd rather shag Stalin. |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | You did at least get the right wine, yes? |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | Sauvignon Blanc. New Zealand. |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | Marlborough Estate, 2023. |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | We surely got THAT right. |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | And I tell you, if I see just ONE bottle of f***ing Lambrini... |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I'll punch all of your teeth so far down your throats, you'll need a toothpick on your arseholes. |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | And if you play Blink 182 |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | instead of Green Day... well... |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | I'll stick your Iron Crosses where the sun don't shine. |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | He won't know you put the Kajagoogoo tracks on the playlist. |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | She doesn't look 60... |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | I really just didn't know. |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | She'll understand... |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | But Carol and Michelle... |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | They will never, ever let me live this down. They will make my life a living Hell. |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | "Ten Years Out Addie" they'll call me. |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | I'll never get an invite again, |
