| 00:00 - 00:03 | All the luminaries have arrived |
| 00:04 - 00:05 | 3 50 gallon drums of KY Jelly have been delivered to the Dook locker room |
| 00:05 - 00:07 | the ESPN satellite trucks have arrived |
| 00:08 - 00:12 | they will broadcast the glorious victory to every corner of the earth |
| 00:12 - 00:15 | this will be Pigeonhead's finest hour |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | we'll kick Carolina's ass for sure |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | no chance that Hubert can beat us |
| 00:24 - 00:26 | Dr. Dickwad.... |
| 00:27 - 00:28 | Hubert.... |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | Hubert and the Heels stomped us into a mudpuddle |
| 00:34 - 00:36 | it was embarrassing |
| 00:53 - 00:58 | if youre allergic to KY Jelly....Astroglide...latex or lard...get the fuck out |
| 01:13 - 01:15 | what the fuck!!! |
| 01:15 - 01:17 | what do i pay you shitheads for!!? |
| 01:18 - 01:23 | he's supposedly the best coach ever |
| 01:25 - 01:28 | every player on the team is a 5 star Mcdonalds All American |
| 01:29 - 01:31 | They choke like bitches |
| 01:31 - 01:34 | theychoke like bitches and sprint to the hut tub like schoolgirls |
| 01:34 - 01:37 | every damn player i ever coached is here |
| 01:37 - 01:40 | and the Heels kick our ass in front of the entire world |
| 01:40 - 01:42 | we still can win the tournament and make the NCAA's |
| 01:42 - 01:46 | we couldnt beat the Galledet School for the Blind |
| 01:46 - 01:48 | we beat Galledet in overtime in October |
| 01:48 - 01:52 | we only won that game because the ref was my cousin |
| 01:53 - 01:54 | it still cost me $200 |
| 01:56 - 01:57 | we're Dook for christ sake |
| 01:57 - 02:00 | what the fuck has happened to the "Brotherhood"? |
| 02:00 - 02:03 | what a load of crap....Brotherhood my ass |
| 02:04 - 02:08 | ive spent a fortune on lubricants |
| 02:08 - 02:13 | lubricants and giant sausages |
| 02:14 - 02:16 | we are the Tesla of rectum management |
| 02:17 - 02:21 | but are they happy...?...no! I get better handjobs from Slalin ! |
| 02:27 - 02:29 | It long past time to fire that pigeonheaded |
| 02:30 - 02:34 | punk ass bitch |
| 02:34 - 02:36 | the dream is over |
| 02:41 - 02:42 | all i wanted was to beat Carolina in his last home game ever |
| 02:43 - 02:47 | but no!!! We play like bunch of pussies more interested in the post game shower |
| 02:48 - 02:53 | I even wore my lucky thong i havent washed in decades |
| 02:54 - 02:56 | Laettner promised me we'd win |
| 02:56 - 02:59 | and after the victory i could dip him in KFC gravy |
| 03:00 - 03:02 | KFC gravy you turd wranglers...!! |
| 03:04 - 03:07 | dont cry....ill buy you a 3 piece box with a biscuit |
| 03:14 - 03:16 | now what...? |
| 03:19 - 03:23 | my heart is as broken as my rectum |
| 03:25 - 03:26 | Laettner lied |
| 03:31 - 03:33 | Hubert owns me |
| 03:40 - 03:46 | 4 decades of kissing that pigeonhead's ass....for nothing...i even named the fucking court after him |
| 03:46 - 03:49 | all that lubricant...and its over |
| 03:53 - 03:56 | we suck |
