| 00:01 - 00:03 | Attention SFL owners |
| 00:03 - 00:07 | no more confusion. |
| 00:08 - 00:10 | Heaven is with us. |
| 00:10 - 00:14 | There is big news in the world of fantasy football tonight. |
| 00:14 - 00:17 | Get ready |
| 00:17 - 00:19 | The long time commissioner |
| 00:19 - 00:21 | has retired |
| 00:21 - 00:22 | and is replaced. |
| 00:23 - 00:27 | The new commissioner is the handsome and brilliant |
| 00:28 - 00:30 | owner of Kick Ass. |
| 00:31 - 00:33 | His appointment |
| 00:33 - 00:37 | has been hailed as genius. |
| 00:38 - 00:41 | His leadership will set industry standards. |
| 00:41 - 00:46 | The other owners will willingly pay tribute to him. Plus, he is very handsome. |
| 00:47 - 00:53 | All hail the Kick ass owner |
